To retort with as little derision as possible, last week’s “Take it easy on the Twihards” article is an example of how the “die-hard” fans of the series fail to take a step back and look at the entire collective consecution of what I refuse to deem literature.
Stephanie Meyer cannot write for s—. If you notice in the books that there is an abundance of words that are big and strange and you can’t seem to figure out what they mean, grab a thesaurus, because she didn’t know either.
She seems to have pulled random words from the Internet and strung them together to form quasi-complete sentences and arcane thought processes for the characters’ linguistics and actions.
The words you would think are impressive do not make any sense in the given context.
In what world would parents be OK with their daughter marrying a walking corpse and then becoming impregnated by him? I’m assuming that it’s Edward’s child.
I couldn’t care less if she was a cheating slag and gave birth to a hairball of a child from Jacob’s DNA.
Remember that part where Edward says, “I can’t read your mind, Bella?” It’s because the expressionless tramp doesn’t have one. She can’t make up her mind about whether or not she wants to marry a werewolf or a vampire.
The easy decision would be to not commit beastiality or necrophilia and stay inside your own species.
The author of last week’s article asked, “Why should someone care if some tween likes ‘Twilight’?” My question is, “Why should you care about these insipid and underdeveloped characters? What makes them special?”
The answers: you shouldn’t, and nothing.
The series is an extreme bastardization of the idea of romance, and has become a cornerstone in filtering girls for copulation, or even more seriously, for dating, from here on out until the books are banished from existence and every last one is burned.
Plainly stated: if a girl likes “Twilight,” there is a 90 percent chance that I’m not going to sleep with her, and I’m definitely not taking her home for Christmas dinner with the folks.
I don’t know what our generation’s obsession is with celebrities and false idols, but as stated prior, “Twilight” is a filter for exposing the vapidity of females, and for that I guess I can be grateful.
If you want a developed book series, go check out “The Hunger Games” or “Harry Potter.”
They demonstrate bravery in times of fear, love, sacrifice, honor, friendship, betrayal and a complex concoction of emotion that your “Twilight” books will never be able to embellish.
Oh, and J.K. Rowling wasn’t turned down by publishers 14 times. Stephanie Meyer was.
— Alex Widener