I like video games. I get that geeky “warm and fuzzy” feeling every time I play with a new tech toy. You probably don’t know me, but with those two statements I’ve just established that I have something in common with the majority of students at ETSU.
Isn’t the world we live in amazing? The marvels of technology continue to amaze me. Just this week I heard on a Fox News program that people would be marrying robots by 2050 – and consummating the relationship. That redefines how you interpret the phrase “geeky, warm and fuzzy” feeling doesn’t it?
Of course, as interesting as robot sex is, that is more than 40 years away, and to be honest, we’ve got lots of tech wonders going on today. I guess that’s why my section editor decided that the East Tennessean needed a recurring tech column. Or maybe she has a weird thing for robots
Regardless, I have answered my editor’s call – risking life, limb and my private parts in an effort to keep you, the inquisitive reader, in the proverbial know.
As a geek, I generally comb magazines, the Internet and G4 TV to keep my addictions sated. I also work at a video game store and play video games, so my knowledge on such subjects comes from experience.
These “Techin’ Out” columns will be a combination of information from all of these sources, all drenched in my opinions. Indeed, you could compare these articles to a big pile of smashed ‘taters covered in warm, satisfying gravy (just think about it – you’ll get the idea).
So, without further wit or references to genitalia, potatoes and robots, let the article begin.
Why own an Xbox 360? Well, I love the Xbox 360, but recently the system has been taking a lot of criticism. Despite all the hype, “Halo 3” is not the only reason to own the system. There are a lot of quality games for the system, and quite a few are coming out before Christmas.
Of the games out now, “Dead Rising” by Capcom is an excellent buy at $29.99. Killing zombies and surviving in a mall for three days is a dream of mine, and the game allows me to live out my dream in horrifically fun fashion. My only problem with the game is that it can be insanely difficult. If you already own an Xbox 360, you have probably played this game. If not, though, you should pick it up
“BioShock” from 2K Games is one of the best games available for any system. The game puts you into the role of a plane crash survivor whose situation goes from bad to worse as you stumble upon a “utopia” at the bottom of the ocean. “BioShock” is a first-person shooter with a variety of RPG elements reminiscent of Bioware games such as “Jade Empire” and the “Knights of the Old Republic” games.
Seriously, everyone in the industry loves this game. If you own an Xbox 360, you must own this game.
“The Orange Box” is something you might not know about. EA Games has packaged “Half-Life: Episode 2,” “Portal” and “Team Fortress 2” together for $29.99.
All of these games were developed by all-star developer Valve and are great games for sci-fi first-person shooter fans. “Portal” is especially interesting – it’s a puzzle fps that challenges the player to escape situations using a “portal gun,” which does exactly what you think it does.
Sigh . “Halo 3.” And don’t forget the incredible “Gears of War,” one of the most hyped games of all time.
As for games coming out for the 360, “Mass Effect” is at the top of my wish list. Created by the previously mentioned Bioware (which has apparently been bought by EA), “Mass Effect” can be described as a role-playing, tactical sci-fi adventure/shooter that lets the player take a seemingly unlimited number of paths through the game via its awesome decision-based game play.
In a nutshell, you play the first human member of an elite inter-planetary squad who unknowingly becomes entangled in a plot that could decide the fate of humanity’s future. It release date is Nov. 20, 2007.
“Clive Barker’s Jericho” is a horror first-person shooter that will be released Oct. 23, and it looks amazing. Developed by Codemasters, the gist of the story follows a military unit tasked with stopping a madman from unleashing an ancient evil and destroying the world. To do this, they must enter Al Kahlid and face an unrelenting tide of horrors.
I’m unfamiliar with Codemasters’ previous work so I can’t say for sure whether this game will be any good, but I like the mood the game sets and the graphics from the demo looked astounding.
There you have it kids. Those are the reasons I’ll have an Xbox 360 this Christmas. And I didn’t even mention “Assassin’s Creed,” “Call of Duty 4” or “Army of Two.” Google those and see what I’m talking about.
iPhone funnies: so, did you get into all the iPhone hype? Maybe you reserved yours months in advance, mowed a thousand yards to raise the $500, cancelled service providers to get ATT and then stood in line for hours to get yours. After you cracked the package, I bet your smile stretched ear to ear, because you had the coolest toy in town.
And then they dropped the price to $200 in September. Everyone was calling you a fool for paying the “stupid tax.”
Then, to add even more terrible to a terrible situation, your first generation iPhone started glitching up and you had to send it back to Steve Jobs so he could give it a tune-up. Man, that stinks. I really have no comment other than I’m glad I didn’t do that. I’m sorry.
That’s al for this first edition of Techin’ Out. I hope you liked it.
Feel free to write in to the East Tennessean to let me know what you want to hear about in future columns. Read again next time when I discuss the motor functions and artificial intelligence of robotic pelvises.