When is friendly too friendly? How do we know when we are cheating?
This column is in response to the article run last week (“Columnist discusses definition of cheating,” Feb. 19) about where we draw the line between innocent game-playing and cheating in a relationship.
I think the topic deserves to be addressed because the views presented in the article seemed to be on one extreme end. I propose that there is a line justifiably drawn much further back that many people refuse to cross. That line represents faithfulness and morality.
I was astounded to read the accounts of passionate kisses and one-night stands that didn’t earn the connotation of unfaithfulness. So now the question is, where do we put this line? I propose that it is meant to stop us from even reaching the seemingly harmless flirting stage.
An “in-love” relationship with another person should hold the highest priority and amount of intimacy and respect over all other relationships. It is a sacred thing that we should be grateful to attain.
To take that bond for granted or to break the trust is to destroy the other person who has in his most vulnerable state opened his heart to you.
When a relationship becomes exclusive, certain moral obligations come with its maintenance. At the top of this list is faithfulness and loyalty to the other person.
There is no greater commitment than that of marriage and it should be placed in the highest regard.
I am disgusted at the empathy displayed today toward maintaining relationships and the lack of effort that is expected. I understand that there are situations in which marriage cannot work out, especially those involving abuse, physical or emotional, but this is not the most common reason for breakup or divorce.
The most common reasons are selfishness and laziness. You’ve heard the clich that goes something like this: Anything worth holding onto is worth the effort it takes to get it. That is true of relationships as well. They don’t stay strong without effort, and effort is something that our society sees as inutile today.
Sitcoms and movies portray people jumping in and out of relationships (and beds) when convenience is on their side. There is little element of true love or responsibility emphasized in our “entertainment” today, and it is for this reason that we have become so desensitized to the absolute disgrace of cheating on another person.
Some would go as far to say that lustful thoughts of another is cheating.
The Bible says, “If you have lustful thoughts in your heart, you have already committed adultery.”
Now, I have to agree with this statement, but at the same time I admit that we are human and while we may not be capable of controlling all of our thoughts, we are capable of controlling our actions.
It is when we act on those lustful thoughts that we have cheated. By act, I mean as little as kissing. Go a little further back: holding hands. A little further: when you approach the person, you are cheating. If you have lustful thoughts and you move toward them instead of avoid them, you are cheating and you are asking for something more to happen.
I am ashamed of the typical attitude toward relationships and propose that many of our social problems today have evolved from the same attitude that leads people to divorce because of petty details. It is a selfishness that will certainly carry a form of destruction whether it be personal or afflicted on another person.
So, in conclusion, I think that cheating is a much more serious offense than was portrayed in last week’s article and also begins far before the stage of “making out.” If you’re going to claim a faithful relationship, don’t allow yourself to fall into the trap of “innocent” games with another person. They do constitute cheating and will likely lead to more.
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