It was not that long ago that I was a lowly senator in the Student Government Association, new to the world of student politics.
Believe it or not, I, with a head full of dreams, got caught up in that delusion, the one where one person can really make a difference. It did not take long for that bubble to burst.
I was thrust into a world of double dealing, back-room deals, rigged votes, and questionable elections. I am proud to say that it made me the cynic I am today.
What brought on this little rant? Well, in case no one noticed, the SGA elections occurred (yeah, those people screaming at you and trying to make you eat candy).
If one did not know any better, one might think this is an assault on our teeth, if not our morals (they don’t call them suckers for nothing).
In the case of elections in general, I have a few gripes. This is a good time to air them out.
1. How come every year when we vote, we have to vote for constitutional amendments in bulk?
There is a question that asks whether or not you are in favor of all amendments to the SGA constitution.
This may not seem like a big deal. However, let’s imagine two amendments: one gives free books to all students, while the other one says the SGA vice president gets all the funds from 606 for his own personal, undocumented use?
Now we really want free books, but are you going to give the SGA vice president all the funds of 606? I hope not.
Yet, under the current system of voting, it is either yes for both or no for both.
Anyone notice something kind of wrong about that? Talk about arm twisting.
2. What is the deal with the candy? Why not hand out dollar bills?
Let’s be up front with our bribery. Now we have bad teeth, compromised morals and a stomach ache (oddly enough not brought on by the candidates themselves, but rather their wares).
The biggest candy wins.
My suggestion is that we eliminate small candy. I mean, in real elections, one must raise a set amount of money to be placed on the ballot. Why not do so here?
Let’s say that the candidates must hand out full-size candy bars, as of course, our morals should come at some significant price (hopefully we would all hold out for king size).
3. Last, but not least, I am saddened at the ballot this year. Not by the people on it, but by the lack thereof. No one ran, at least not in the Senate.
It is sad when the offices themselves are infected by the same apathy as their constituencies.
Some may ask why I don’t run, or why I never stayed a full term in the senate.
I left for moral reasons. Too many back-room deals and compromises on “behalf” of the students is enough to sour one on the whole deal.
Hopefully, though, I can share my knowledge with everyone else and provide some insight into this microcosm known as student government.
So for now, I’ll just sit on those new park benches (has anybody seen those yet, hmm?) and ponder a lack of a student discount card, and a lack of student leadership.

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