I was reading the Johnson City Press the other day.
I saw a great article about the Johnson City elections and the money involved, and it made me feel much better about the SGA candy-dates because I saw that you aren’t just people giving out free candy, you are our next city officials.
One of my colleagues recently wrote an article about some of the SGA candidates who didn’t have the balls to stand on issues and decided that candy would effectively neutralize our campus population’s reasoning ability: “Oh, this guy wants to give me candy . hmm, that girl wants to improve parking . gee, those Jolly Ranchers look good.”
Wait a second. Remove the middle part of that sentence cause I didn’t hear anyone talk about issues. Do you folks realize that by electing candy salespeople to run the SGA we are merely reinforcing these people’s egos?
And because they were elected in college, they will go on to be the money grubbers who will run for important political positions in our cities.
Steve Darden is running for the Johnson City City Commission and he has raised $50,000. Oh my God.
Why does he need $50,000? 50,000!
Well, according to Connie Sinks, the Washington County administrator of elections it is because “People are actually looking at the candidates and the issues,” as she told the Press.
Shouldn’t people be looking at the issues first? Of course, with contenders who raise $50,000, I guess you want to check out the candidates.
Hey, Mr. Darden, you can raise some money my way. Screw getting candy from the SGA. Send a car over here and you’ve got my vote.
Why not? The democratic ideal says that my vote is just as important as anyone else’s. So why not try to get the best stuff that I can?
Hey, why not branch out? Anyone who doesn’t want me to hassle them in my columns can send $15 and you are home free.
Hey friends, you can come to me with your problems in one hand but if there isn’t money in the other, don’t expect a heartfelt response.
SGA, I don’t blame you for your candy-hawking. I would love to go to meetings where time is spent arguing over who gets the gavel.
Actually, I would rather be molested by a pack of monkeys than to be in the position of you SGA officials, because at the end of the year when someone asks you what you accomplished and one sweaty beaten up guy behind you screams, “I’ve got the gavel!”, you look sort of silly.
So, anyway SGA, you are not at fault because I realize that you are merely learning from your elders.
It does make me wonder though . if I raise $1 million can I just run the city?
It is crazy that about one-third of the Press article that was nominally on voter turnout was dedicated to the amount of money the candidates have raised.
I figure that I should go around tearing down signs.
The candidates can afford it, because once they get into office they will be able to take over the world. At least, I would hope they have aspirations of world domination, because if not, paying $50,000 to oversee sewer replacement and road construction would look pretty silly.

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