Man’s mouth writes check; check honored by man’s ass

W. LOCUST ST. -Surprising a barful of patrons this past Tuesday, the ass of Prescott Winchester immediately honored a sizable check that was drunkenly written by Mr. Winchester’s troublesome mouth.
The transaction occurred shortly after three members of the Pagans motorcycle gang expressed amusement at Mr. Winchester’s inability to lift a pitcher of beer with only one hand.
“Prescott, he tells them three Pagans to shut the f— up before he ‘tears this f—ing joint apart,'” a still wide-eyed bartender stated. “Someone laughed, and that lil’ fellar spent the next half hour cleaning house. He was even grabbing their wrists and doing that ‘don’t hit yourself’ routine.”
According to the bank, the joint account held by Mr. Winchester’s mouth and ass has consistently been in arrears, resulting in frequently bounced checks and trips to the emergency room.
Tuesday’s transaction was mistakenly honored by the bank due to an accounting discrepancy in the favor of Mr. Winchester’s ass. Thanks to a corrected decimal point, the account will accurately reflect the ass’s true balance next Thursday when Mr. Winchester gets sodomized with a baseball bat by 30 Pagans in a Super 8 motel room.