W. LOCUST ST. – In a statement that caught much of the world off-guard, President Bush on Tuesday labeled China, the Palestinian Authority, and Saudi Arabia an “Axis of Bastards.”
“Although not inherently evil, these folks are total bastards,” Bush said during his tour of Asia.
The president said that “every time we screw up, there’s Joe China broadcasting it to the world, and in my book, that qualifies them as big bastards.”
“The Saudis are kind of like that guy you feel sorry for and invite over to dinner and all he does is hit on your wife,” Bush said aboard Air Force One.
“You know what that guy’s name is? First name ‘Out-of-Wedlock’, last name ‘Bastard.'”
“The Palestinians, oh Christ allmighty,” the President said as his staff eased into a collective nervous breakdown. “I’ve got to hear Israel every five minutes complaining about what they’ve done this time, and I feel it’s high time Arafat stops his bastard-ass ways.”
The President said he would not be surprised if the Axis of Bastards ashed their cigarettes on his new carpet or sold him weak blow after telling him how great it was.

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