W. LOCUST ST. – Janice Inwood, a Johnson City native who recently moved out to the big city said during an interview yesterday that she is working towards the day when she will be serving food instead of having to paint it.
“Every time I sell a painting, the buyer inevitably asks me, ‘What do you want to do with your life?’ as if I should apologize or explain my situation just because I don’t have my name tag on.”
Like countless others, Janice made her way to the big city with $10 in her pocket and a dream of working in the food-service industry.
“Everybody knows that if you want to be a waitress, you go to the big city. But I never knew how hard it would really be,” the aspiring tip-monkey admitted.
“Back home, kids graduate from high school, get married, and work as artists for the rest of their lives. I felt like an iconoclast. But out in the big city, EVERYBODY wants to be a waitress,” she said, holding a painting up with one hand as if it were a tray.
Chasing a dream makes for a hectic schedule and long days in Janice’s life. She’ll often schedule her gallery openings in the afternoon so that afterwards she can rush away to her true calling, rolling silverware one night a week at Applebee’s.
“I’m 30 now, and I’m working as a full-time artist. Every time I go out to eat with my artist friends, it’s right there in my face. I don’t want to sleep all day and drink lattes all night. I want to sell some ‘Bloomin’ Onions,'” Ms. Inwood said.
She then sadly turned and went back to the daily grind of her “artist routine” of eating hallucinogens and having lesbian sex with left-wing writers.

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