The world is a pretty frightening landscape of cold and indifference sometimes.
Who knows whether or not you’ll make it to your car after passing in front of someone with your grocery shopping cart in the middle of their very serious corn flakes decision-making session in aisle eight?
Even cutting in front of an old lady in the checkout line could mean broken legs in the parking lot. Simple, insignificant little squabbles could turn into rumbles, shootings or dance-offs these days.
Ladies and gentlemen, let not your blood boil over trivial things. I am wholly convinced that bad attitudes can be made better with hot flavorful beverages that provide calm, companionship and lessons on love. Take a chill pill and wash it down with some hot tea for feeling more loved, self-aware and just plain dandy Daddy-o.
Wanting to get in touch with your delicate side?
There is nothing more overwhelming than too much testosterone flying around hitting people in the head. And although it has yet to be proven that tea dramatically reduces the levels of this white crystalline steroid hormone, the calming effects of hot tea can enhance the most desirable feminine qualities in males and females.
Gently sipping on a cup of British Cream Tea featuring traditional cucumber sandwiches and scones with clotted cream can drastically enhance any hairy-chested man’s fastidious qualities. Oh! The wonders of tea.
Hey, you Brawny paper towel-using, large-calved, chunky soup-eating men, have a dandy sip of tea and you’ll be foppish in no time. When you’re as sassy as a popinjay, you can help the woman in your life pick out new curtains whilst you both sip, sip, sip on some hot tea.
Looking for companionship?
The winter months can get cold, depressing and lonely if you have no one to count on but yourself. Many college students have trouble fighting the urge to invite any old Joe or stray squirrel into their beds to keep them warm during the bitter days of winter. Steaming hot tea is the perfect replacement to any girl, boy, electric blanket or squirrel, no matter how hot they are.
Until Enrique Iglesias comes around, have a cup of Earl Grey, Oolong or Jasmine tea to beat the lonely “no Latin lover here” blues.
Foreigner once said that like a good cup of tea, “through the clouds I see love shine/ it keeps me warm as life grows colder.” Oh, how right they were. How right they were indeed.
For the ultimate in companionship, one must get properly acquainted with this gracious drink. There are four basic types of tea: white and green, oolong, black and herbal.
White and green teas produce light-colored brews, which are wildly popular in Japan and China. They have a clean and refreshing flavor.
Oolong teas are partially aged during processing. A nice alternative to stronger black teas, oolongs have a mild fragrant quality.
Black teas are the most common type of tea (i.e. Lipton). Before roasting, it is aged for a long time and makes a dark, strong beverage.
Herbal teas don’t actually contain any tea. They range widely in flavor and are made from herbs, flowers and other plants.
Do you wanna know what love is?
If a hearty American tea with Waldorf chicken salad sandwiches and tangy lemon bundt cake doesn’t show you what love is, then I don’t know what will.
In 1984 when Foreigner sang “I Want to Know What Love Is” they really honestly wanted to know, and they wanted you to show them. If only they had been given a cup of Genmaicha green tea with toasted rice and popcorn back then, they would have been properly informed about love.
Besides combating heart disease and lowering cholesterol, the hot drink also deals with life’s heartache and pain and replaces it with hot, steaming love.
Dealing with emotions like hot, steaming love can be tricky. One should pay attention to temperature, brew time and reuse. Some tea brewing tips from Stephen Treffinger at Lucky magazine to make your tea absolutely lovely:
Too much heat can spoil a tea’s flavor. Use water just below boil for black tea; wait for one minute for oolong and cool three minutes for green and white varieties.
The most common tea-making error is oversteeping. Brew black and oolong teas for three minutes, green and whites for two.
Good tea can be steeped multiple times (some hand rolled types, like jasmine pearl, actually improve after first brewing). Increase brew time slightly after each use.
During the cold, winter months when it seems that everything is dreary don’t despair. A nice herbal tea with clove studded lemon wedges, Welsh currant cookies and strawberry jam will be just the thing to awaken the gentle giant inside of you, leaving you warm and fuzzy inside having known true love for the first time.
Visit leaves.com, rishi-tea.com, wildlilytearoom.com, truetea.com and stashtea.com to purchase specialty teas and accessories.

Author