Q: My roommate uses drugs and keeps bringing drug addicts to my apartment. She is my friend, so I don’t know what to do. Help! – — Sticky Situation
A: This is a tough one . On the one hand, you probably resent your friend for putting you in such a tough spot, but you also don’t want to do anything to hurt her or get her in trouble. You also probably don’t want to find a new place to hang your hat because we all know how annoying that can be. You need a solution that will end the problem of having unsavory characters frequenting your humble abode and will hopefully leave your friendship with your roommate intact.
First, you definitely need to get your friend help for her drug problem, especially if she is using drugs such as meth or heroine that could endanger her life. If you haven’t already done it, try talking to her about her drug use and ask her if she thinks that it really makes her life better (of course it doesn’t). If she won’t respond to reason and you can’t convince her to stop, you should seek professional help for her.
I’m sure some people would tell you that you should turn your friend in to the authorities for her drug use, but I don’t think that would be a very good option for your friendship. Your roommate doesn’t need to spend years locked up in jail; what she needs is help to get her life back before she is caught driving while under the influence or stealing to get drug money and closes many doors for the rest of her life.
As for the drug addicts she brings over to your place, you are going to just have to put your foot down and stop it. Tell her that she is not allowed to bring visitors over, and even resort to threatening to call the cops on her guests if she continues to bring them over. Drug addicts as a general population are probably less safe to be around than your average Joe, and your friend has no right to subject you to possible harm.
If the situation doesn’t improve at all, you have to move out of your apartment. No one likes moving (boxing up all your stuff, carting it across town, it’s a huge pain in the . you know), but you can’t continue to live with someone who is only bringing you down. What if the cops showed up at your apartment? You could get in trouble, too, even though you were innocent. And then there is the constant danger of having drug addicts milling around your place.
There is only so much you can do to help someone; in the end, nothing will help your friend until she wants help. So do everything you can, and then let it go. Hopefully your roommate will come to her sense and abandon her drug use before she makes mistakes that are not easily corrected.
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