Sexual assault is a topic that continues to reign in the forefront of the media as well as the minds of many parents and college students. On Saturday, “Take Back the Night” 5K road races will be held all around the United States to honor survivors of sexual abuse, as well as raise money to help current victims.
Betsy, whose identity will remain anonymous due to the fact that she is a sexual assault survivor, has agreed to share her story to “inspire other people to come forward.”
Betsy is a 2002 graduate of ETSU where she was involved in many campus activities including the Take Back the Night Committee.
“Being raped was my No. 1 fear,” said Betsy as she began her story. Betsy was assaulted by a man who she knew and had dated. They met through a freshman honor society. While on a date, Betsy shared that she was a virgin and recalls “getting a really weird vibe about him.” She decided not to return his phone calls.
When they met again it was at a spaghetti dinner held by a special interest organization of which he was a member. The two began making small talk about final exams. Then he suggested they go have a drink and watch a movie in his room at the residence hall where he was a resident assistant.
Betsy said she “considered herself naive” at that time. Because two years had passed since they last met, she thought they each had an opportunity to mature.
Betsy arrived too late to eat dinner, and was not a regular drinker, therefore the mixed drink she was given affected her very quickly.
“He controlled the amount of alcohol,” said Betsy, who didn’t ask questions as he kept refilling her glass.
After the movie was over, the man offered to take her back to her dorm. Betsy insisted that she would walk, but the man refused. They began talking and he asked if she was still a virgin, in which she replied yes.
He went on to say that he respected her decision, and suddenly began kissing her. Things moved very quickly and he told Betsy that he had condoms, but she refused to go any further.
He said, “I’ve never taken anyone’s virginity before.”
The fact that she was intoxicated did little to help her confusion about how the conversation had become physical so quickly. “I wasn’t sure what had actually happened.”
Not long after the incident, Betsy discovered that something similar had happened to an acquaintance. He was found “feeling her up” after she had fallen asleep one night. This caused Betsy to realize that her feelings were valid. She then decided to talk to Public Safety.
After reporting the incident, a rumor got around to the suspect that Betsy planned to press charges.
Leaving campus one night, Betsy felt like someone was following her, so she decided to file a restraining order against the man who had sexually assaulted her.
Even though this incident did occur on ETSU grounds, Betsy insists that it “does not say ETSU isn’t a safe campus. I was with an unsafe person.”
The advice she gives to female students to avoid being sexually assaulted is: “Always go with your instincts. They are telling you something. If there is doubt, make sure you have someone to call for help.”
And if something does happen, Betsy advises women that they should “report it to help yourself and others.”
Betsy has not seen the man since the day they were in court, but says the incident is what caused her to become more involved with Take Back the Night activities.
What began as extra credit for a sociology course became an event Betsy is passionate about.
This year’s race will be held Saturday, March 29. Registration starts at 7:30 a.m., followed by the race at 8 a.m.
The registration fee is $15 and information can be found at www.runtricities.org.
Proceeds from the race will be given to the Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner (SANE) program at Johnson City Medical Center. The program helps victims of sexual violence receive necessary medical care in a safe environment. SANE nurses are specially trained to deal with forensic evidence from assaults.
Until Thursday, students can participate in the “Clothes Line Project,” from 11 a.m. until 1 p.m. on the second floor of the D.P. Culp, students may decorate cardboard cut-outs of T-shirts with supportive messages to be displayed during the race.
A candlelight vigil will be held on Thursday March 27 at 7 p.m. at the Borchuck Plaza. Sponsored by Students Against Violence, the vigil offers a time of reflection for those who have been affected by sexual violence or in support of those who have.
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