Something quite odd has been happening to me over the past couple of years. I am continuously finding myself involved in this “out-of-body” experience. It is a half-and-half though, these feelings rush over me without a siren, alert or slap in the face of any kind. I am in control, but at the same time not understanding where these motions from my neck are coming from. I will be sitting perfectly still in the seat of a car. There is usually something calm and casual from the speakers, maybe Bob Dylan, The Beatles or a Sir Arthur Conan Doyle book on tape if I am feeling adventurous.

But, there are those moments when I am out of my zone because a set of different voices have taken over my old-school Benz. This transformation is usually led my a barrage of hard-hitting beats and disc jockey’s yelling unneeded explicit terms and random jargon that does not really make much sense in the grander idea of the song. Then again, can it really constitute as a song if there is not singing?

Regardless of those thoughts, there are those moments when the stillness leaves my body because the beat has put me in a state of anemia. Then, a rapid shift takes over and my neck begins to move forwards, and then retracts. This motion continues for several minutes until the beat stops. My whiteness finds its way back into my body and the stillness continues.

The most recent ringleader of these natural phenomena amongst my Caucasian friends is known as Drake.

This Toronto rapper is the most ridiculous thing to come out of Canada since lumberjacks, maple syrup on everything and Steve Nash. He finds himself “going in” about nearly anything and everything from ideas of young love to how he is the future of this genre of music; I suppose the future is now.

There are many instances when this “rap music” puts a smile on my face. The main reason derives from how simplistic the mind set is of these hip-hop heroes. Do they really want to be portrayed as simply wanting money, drugs and to do unmentionables to every single female on the face of the planet? Maybe I don’t really want the answer to that question.

Some find a way around these basic notions, but Drake does something a little bit different than his competition. Like few others at this point, he attacks every beat with a controlled ferocity, such as to murder the beat on the spot while still getting his point across and not confusing his listeners.

While, at the same time alleviating any other rappers from believing that they could bring something to the table that he has not already been laid down by Drake.

He bleeds onto the tracks and makes me feel what he says, even if it something as ridiculous as how his car resembles a checkerboard or how him and “Weezy” run things, whatever that entails. His blend of lyrical genius mixed with his ability to level with several different airwaves is one of the reasons why I am in a constant state of hypnosis during his “flows.” I fear that I could find myself in a serious collision with a mountain-sized speed bump or dump my car into a pothole that the construction workers put there if this man is not stopped from being put through on most local radio stations.

I blame Canada for this catastrophic microphone fiend, as I do with most of my problems. However, as long as I can continue to get free downloads like Canadians get free health care, I will have no further quarrels with him being the eventual end of my life.

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