Since I’ve been in college, I’ve become a procrastinator. So, it is only fitting that I would write my New Year’s resolutions a few weeks following the start of the actual year.It is common for people to make a resolution to eat less and run more. They probably have every intention of going through with their resolutions and that is very admirable, regardless of the fact that the majority don’t go through with them. It has become something we feel we need to do as opposed to a positive exercise in finding ways to shift our way of life, more of a chore than a push for something better.

This is why I could never set my heights too high.

I set my resolutions at a level that is very obtainable and allows me to feel like I have accomplished more than I actually have. We need constant positive reinforcement as males, it just is what it is.

I started with something that finds me on a daily basis: Tiger Woods references. I assumed it would be harder to blast this guy as his colossal screw-up was put slowly into the past, but it has not seemed to happen that way. I have found his name to be a conversation starter, as in, “Feel like getting a little Tigered tonight?” It has also become an easy way to get friends to go out when they are being antisocial; for instance, “Dude, you need to quit pulling a Tiger and come out with us.” It is kind of corny and obvious, but what do you get with being subtle.

It is an ongoing effort, but I feel like that is a quality resolution to start off the year. I mean, it is kind of childish to make fun of a professional golfer who uses his 3 wood less than his actual . next.

My next resolution would have to be an overly used and generic one: read more and watch less television. My main reason behind this stems from the fact that I am confusing reality and all that goes along with reality programming. I seem to think that every person who has a tan, in any capacity or shade, is going to pull shot glasses out of their book bag and start attempting to hook up with everyone who is within eyeshot of their abs. I feel that my mind needs a rest from the constant generalization that various networks allow me to mold into as a vulnerable 20-something.

I am hoping to find the Penn State Guide to Partying: Volumes 1-10. The first one is for beginners and just gradually works its way up from casual beer drinkers at a get-together to guys who play beer pong with shots of Everclear. I think they are actually working on a movie, which is an adaptation of the book, starring Asher Roth and Robert Downey Jr. in his prime. It should be an instant classic. It is about time that I learn outside of the classroom and challenge myself in more ways than the institution does at this moment.

I feel like I need a third resolution for this year, but I am feeling like resting on my laurels. Besides, this is about achieving and not setting my goals too high so that this drill is anti-productive – more wholesome talk and keep up less with the Kardashians. So, did you hear the one about the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus?

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