I don’t turn on the tube very often. In fact, I don’t even have cable. But every now and then, when hanging out at friends’ houses, I get a glimpse into what’s on television these days. And I’m not impressed. Reality TV is what bothers me the most. These shows just seem to get more and more ridiculous every year.

Over Christmas break, I watched a few minutes of one of the most ridiculous reality television shows ever created, in my opinion anyway.

“Surprise Wedding,” a new program on Fox, invites women in long-term relationships to propose to their boyfriends on national television. The men come on the show believing they are taking part in a makeover show, and are shocked when their girlfriends ask them to marry them that night. The men are then allowed a 30-second phone call to consult with a friend. Then, the women plead with their boyfriends on camera, while the men are pacing backstage. If they say “yes,” they get married immediately. In the episode I watched, all five couples were quickly married on national television.

What could be more romantic than that?

The other day, I was on the phone with my mom who lives in Florida. She was talking about “The Bachelor.” Even though she admits the show is completely ridiculous, she can’t help but get sucked into the drama. Evidently a girl on the show slept with a producer within a couple of weeks.

This appalled my mother. She couldn’t understand why someone would want their sex life to be public. And I don’t either. But scandals only increase the ratings.

Another one that kills me is “Wife Swap.” One of my best friends, and former roommates, used to watch this show every day. I was inevitably sucked into watching the show every now and then, and it never ceased to amaze me. On this show, couples swap spouces to see what it’s like living in someone else’s shoes, and raising someone else’s kids. They, of course, choose the most eccentric, theatrical families they can find. The moral of the show: the grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence.

What’s so hysterical about the entire genre is that it’s called “reality television.”

Nothing about these shows reflects life in America. Perhaps it does reflect an idea though. The new American dream: marry rich (on national television), be thin, drink yourself under the table every day and claim your 15 minutes of fame.

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