They should teach a class on the art of retrospect. Or, as I like to call it, the art of looking back and realizing just how stupid you were when you thought you knew it all. Some people call it regret. Other people refer to it as experience. I follow the doctrine of the latter category.

I live a life of no regrets, not because I did everything right, but because I had the knowledge to learn from all the things I did wrong.

Yet, there are a few nuggets of wisdom that would have been so beneficial throughout my college career if someone had just told me . or if I had just listened.

Never circumvent failure

The transition from the safety of high school to the uncharted territory of college is a huge one, and there is a lot to be fearful of.

Those of us overachievers who exceeded expectations in high school fear that we will sink to the dark abyss of mediocrity in college.

But to be open to learning is to be open to failing. It is to be open to not getting it right the first time.

Do not try to circumvent failure, rather confront it head-on with the confidence that you are equipped with the tools to endure it, combat it and overcome it.

Establish your own identity

In my freshman year of college, I fell in love with a boy – headfirst, as so many of us do. In retrospect, I would much rather have fallen in love “ass first” because I would have had so much more cushioning that way.

He appeased me by dating me for awhile but later stopped calling or returning calls. I cried for days, until I finally gained the strength to look at my reflection in a mirror.

Beyond my tear-stained eyes, I saw what was really wrong. I had wrapped my value around the presence of this boy in my life.

Finally I asked myself if this was the woman I wanted to be. The answer was no.

The first step was, well, more crying. The next step was change.

Before you run off with your “John Everyman” or “Jill Everywoman,” I encourage you to find your own identity. Find out what you want in life, and do not settle for anything less.

It’s not about the school

I’ll be honest. I’m a Nashville native, and before I toured this campus I had never even heard of ETSU.

I had dreamed of going to a more prestigious private school. Unfortunately, my dreams and my checkbook had a disagreement, as they so often do. They are currently separated – irreconcilable differences.

I’ll let you in on a little secret. Don’t focus on the school, or on your professors, for that matter. College is an independent community, and what you put into it is what you’ll get out of it.

Attend classes regularly. Build a good rapport with your professors. Make sure they know you by name. It will come in handy when you ask for extra credit a week before finals.

Don’t limit yourself

We set goals, and we are driven to accomplish them. Goals and time-lines are effective ways to measure your progress.

But keep in mind the fact that sometimes life has a way of making its own plans and disrupting yours.

Do not limit yourself. Try different courses. Find a subject that you’re interested and take a class in it. Don’t be afraid to change your major or add a minor.

Having direction is productive, but putting limitations on yourself and your life can be detrimental.

Be less afraid of taking a detour or disappointing your parents.

Be more afraid of looking back four years from now and wishing you would have had the courage to try something different.

You are entitled to the right to change your mind. Give yourself that freedom.

Find your voice

Get involved in as many organizations and events as you possibly can. This can be an asset to finding your passion and asserting your power.

Our university has so many resources and opportunities available for you, but they won’t find you. You have to seek them.

In a semester, I auditioned for a play and got the part, was named Senator of the Year, ran for vice president and lost, and applied for the Viewpoint editor’s position . and, well, you see where that got me.

The point is, do not be afraid to find your place on campus. It is all too easy to get lost in the shuffle, and this university can seem so large.

Finding people who share your interests can make this journey so much more enjoyable for you.

A final word

Life is like a literary course. You take a journey through each chapter, and at the end you evaluate the characters, the situations, and the lessons learned.

The only thing is, there are no SparkNotes for life. There is no easy out, and those who have tried to find one have learned that they have wasted more time than if they had just applied themselves wholeheartedly to the journey in the first place.

Life is like college. It is expensive and it ends much too soon. But in the end, you’re always richer for having experienced it.

I would like to leave you with one final piece of advice. I tried desperately to construct a clever reason for offering it. I tried to explain why it was good advice, but really it speaks for itself.

Listen to your parents. They know what they’re talking about.

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