Being in college is like beingon a diet and locking yourself
in a room full of honey buns.
There is so much temptation.
You cannot resist. You partake
gluttonously and savor every
morsel.
And just as you digest the
last bite, burning worry and
pressure and guilt settle on
your stomach like the worst
case of acid reflux.
Senior year is like that acid
reflux.
After four years, I definitely
have the hang of this college
thing. I take the best professors.
I order my books online.
All the panic and uncertainty
of freshman year is far behind
me.
But sometimes, even with
such a plethora of experience,
there is an inexplicable, penetrating
layer of dismal gloom
about this year that seems to
shadow me constantly.
It is the fact that I am fully
confident that I can put no confidence
in my future. My heart
sinks as I move forward and
backward simultaneously.
On one hand, I have finally
acquired the coveted senior status.
I can take my easy classes
now, and I anticipate the arrival
of expensive graduation gifts.
On the other hand, I find
myself trapped in a dark abyss
as I prepare for the GRE and
brace myself for the possibility
of depressing rejection from
the grad schools I’ve set my
heart on.
In hindsight, my freshman,
sophomore and junior years of
college were quite misleading.
Those years caused me to
believe that the world was my
oyster.
But, in the end,I found that
in the real world, your oyster
can be contaminated by an oilridden
Gulf Coast.
I was told that the choice was
mine. But I learned that sometimes
your choices are limited.
I believed that the sky was the
limit. But with all the business
execs tumbling from skyscrapers
in their pinstriped suits and
their golden parachutes, there
is not much sky to be reached.
In essence, I realized that our
harsh reality does not always
harbor the optimum climate
for our dreams.
But that is no excuse to stop
dreaming because sometimes
a little dose of reality is all the
motivation we need.
And this new well of knowledge
has revealed to me the
true beauty of adulthood.
While for years, I longed
for its abundant freedoms and
seemingly endless privileges,
never once did I consider the
weight of its responsibilities
and obligations.
One’s senior year of college
can be likened to an ascending
escalator. It is the vehicle
to your inevitable destination:
adulthood. And no matter how
many backward steps you take,
your ass is going to the next
level. Willing or not.
My intent is not to scare the
wits out of the seniors, but
rather to encourage the freshmen,
sophomores and juniors.
So, freshmen, I implore you
to enjoy the harsh transitions.
Sophomores, soak up the comfort
of knowing that you have
time to figure out what you
want to do.
And juniors, enjoy the time
you spend doing everything but
what you should be doing.
Enjoy these years. Live them
like you can never go back to
them.
Because, well … you can’t.
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