Dear Sex Matters,Ok, first of all, I just want to say that my social life is pretty good. I am never without a party, I hang with my brothers, I have lots of friends, and I easily hook up with girls. They like me, and it’s all good. In the past few weeks (and I admit I hate saying this aloud, even anonymously), I seem to be losing my erection. I start out all into it, but then can’t “pull the trigger.” It’s happened more than once and it sucks. It is totally embarrassing and I’m starting to worry. What’s going on with me?

Drugs and Rock & Roll, No Sex

Dear No Sex,

First of all, let me reassure you. Almost all men experience occasional difficulty getting or maintaining an erection sometime in their lives.

In many cases, it is a temporary condition that will go away with little or no treatment.

Much of the time, however, the loss of erection can be tracked to preexisting physical conditions associated with more mature ages, such as diabetes, high blood pressure, heart or thyroid conditions, poor blood flow, spinal cord injury or neurologic disorders such as multiple sclerosis or Parkinson’s disease. In these cases, a trip to your physician is in order.

Sex experts like to point out that the largest sex organ in the body is the brain.

Psychological causes, like poor communication with your partners, feelings of doubt and failure, stress, fear, depression, anxiety or anger, and unrealistic sexual expectations, are often common factors in younger men struggling with erectile dysfunction.

Also, it’s important to know that some antidepressants can affect sexual performance (talk to your psychiatrist, if you are currently taking medication for depression).

If any of these causes are in your life, I would encourage you to seek some counseling support to figure out what’s going on.

Healthy sexual performance has been connected to getting plenty of rest, good exercise (improved stamina, circulation and blood flow) and a healthy diet. How are you doing in these areas of your life?

When you say “never without a party,” does this include a lot of alcohol? Shakespeare once said of alcohol that “. it provokes and unprovokes; it provokes the desire but it takes away the performance.”

The Bard’s immortal words still ring true today. Alcohol generally makes people more willing to have sex, but less capable of the act.

In small amounts, alcohol can reduce inhibitions and increase sexual desire; yet at the same time, small amounts can also cause the penis to be less sensitive, erections to be less firm, and make men take longer to orgasm.

Short-term use can also cause temporary impotence through alcohol’s sedative effect.

Long-term use of alcohol can cause impotence through reduced testosterone levels and nerve damage of the penis.

Alcohol can also interfere with the production of sperm, causing abnormalities, miscarriages and birth defects with pregnancies.

On a side note, being under the influence of alcohol can also lead to a higher level of aggression, less interest in pleasing a partner, and less integrity regarding seeking consent. This not only makes you a less attractive sexual partner, but also can lead to rape and sexual assault.

Nicotine and other drugs can also be culprits in difficulty maintaining an erection. Nicotine can affect erectile tissue and the muscles involved in producing an erection.

Long-term use of marijuana can lower the libido, lower sperm production and lower testosterone levels.

Amphetamines (including methamphetamine and MDMA (ecstacy) often make achieving and maintaining an erection difficult and conversely, can occasionally cause priapism, a painful erection that will not go away on its own.

Like any other part of your body, your penis operates at its best when you are healthy, in good shape, in a good frame of mind, and aren’t polluting it with toxins.

Take a good, hard (no pun intended) look at what’s happening in your life and hopefully, things will soon look up (again, sorry for the pun).

Questions will be published anonymously and answered by an ETSU Counseling Center licensed counselor, Rebecca Alexander for OASIS.

Author