The holidays can be a difficult time for many. Images of yuletide cheer can bring out feelings of loneliness, stress and frustration for people with little disposable income, complicated family relationships or those who have recently lost loved ones. Happiness at the holidays is often synonymous with consumption and the cohesion of the nuclear family. This is incredibly alienating to a great many people.
While Christmas can easily feel like a consumer hellscape where your relationships are measured by your purchasing power and you can’t seem to get “Last Christmas” out of your head, it is not all doom and gloom. At their best, the holidays are about coming together with loved ones, regardless of blood relations, to celebrate one another. It is easy to lose sight of what the holidays are about when tallying up prices for presents or dealing with rude customers. For people who have difficult relationships with their biological families, chosen families can be incredibly important way to celebrate community and love in the face of an otherwise difficult time of year.
Chosen families are the communities we build when we find ourselves separated from our birth families, whether by conflict or circumstance. These connections can be just as intimate as blood relations, if not more. For people who are not accepted by their families, they can be even more meaningful: a tribe of people who will care for you when no one else will.
Chosen family celebrations have become popular among young people in the United States with events like Friendsgiving. These celebrations allow people an opportunity to enjoy community without the baggage of familial trauma or financial struggle. Instead of obligation, they are built on mutual admiration and genuine care for one another.
In this challenging season, we should celebrate the different forms of community that fill us with joy and belonging. No matter your relationship with your family or your financial means, no one should have to feel alone.
