When ETSU President Brian Noland and first lady Donna Noland first met in the library as college students at the University of Tennessee in Knoxville, they did not know they would go on to divide and conquer the responsibilities of serving a family and a university.
They met when Dr. Noland was working on his doctorate degree in political science, and Mrs. Noland was working on her bachelor’s degree in human ecology and nutrition. He said he was “nervous” and “apprehensive” when first meeting her, but she “thought he was cute.” He managed to get her phone number, and soon after they had their first date – going out to dinner and seeing “Independence Day” at the movie theater.
They met in the fall and dated through Christmas. At the time they found common interests in music, biking and outdoor activities, and they often spent time together studying. As spring came, things became more serious, and Dr. Noland began the search for a ring.
As a “poor” graduate student already concerned about paying for food and rent, he said looking for an engagement ring was not easy. He worked hard to save up money to buy one, describing himself as no different than ETSU students struggling financially today.
“You’re in love and trying to find money to buy a ring, and you hope that she says yes,” Dr. Noland said.
She said yes.
The young couple was engaged within a year of meeting, and they got married while still in school. They moved to Nashville for Mrs. Noland’s master’s degree in nursing, and after completing their studies and being offered job positions, they decided to stay there. From there, they said their journey of married life truly began, not knowing where it would take them next.
“Once you embark upon a journey together, you don’t really know where it’s going to take you,” Dr. Noland said. “And you settle in, you make friends, you build relationships in communities, and then an opportunity comes, and you move; and you kind of [have] to start over again.”
Since getting married, the couple has moved cities three times: Knoxville to Nashville, Tennessee; Nashville to Charleston, West Virginia; and Charleston to Johnson City, Tennessee. Mrs. Noland said these moves were some of their biggest milestones as a couple.
“Sometimes picking up and moving – that’s hard,” she said. “And then you’re relying on each other, and roles change with job change and family change, too. You know, so I think every time it’s kind of like trying to figure out where you fit and what your roles are as a family as well as within the community.”
The move to Johnson City, however, was the easiest of the three.
“In many respects, Johnson City was already kind of home,” Dr. Noland said.
Mrs. Noland grew up in Greeneville, Tennessee, less than an hour away from Johnson City. While they were dating and during their marriage, the Nolands often came home to visit their parents, which brought them to Johnson City on a regular basis.
“Johnson City is where you went to go out to eat,” Dr. Noland said. “Johnson City is where you went to go to the mall. Johnson City is where you went to go to the movies; and Christmas, you buy gifts and you’re visiting in-laws for a week and a half. Johnson City is where you go to exchange.”
His family, that lived in Asheville, North Carolina, was also close to Johnson City. With the lifetime relationships and connections Mrs. Noland had with people in the surrounding communities and the connections Dr. Noland had with people from ETSU during his time in Nashville, he described the move to Johnson City as “moving back to something very familiar.”
Although the move to Johnson City was one of the easier ones, the couple said it became more challenging to balance life and their relationship when Dr. Noland assumed the responsibilities of ETSU President in 2012.
“With each time we’ve moved, jobs became a little bit more complex,” he said. “So, your life becomes more complex with children and aging parents. Then your job becomes more complex with enhanced responsibilities.”
With obligations such as families, school, work, meetings and basketball games for their son Jackson, they said finding balance can be “overwhelming” and “difficult” at times.
“There has to be a series of checks and balances, and there also has to be a lot of give and take,” Mrs. Noland said. “And so, both of you have to be willing to give and to take for a relationship no matter who you are for it to work.”
She said much of their time is spent “dividing and conquering.” No matter what struggles or challenges they face, she said they always try to be supportive of each other, and she hopes that is something people can take away from their relationship.
“I think you have to support one another,” she said. “I think every relationship goes through ups and downs just in general because that’s life, right? We all experience ups and downs just because of stress of work, or personal, or family members or sick family members; but I think the biggest key is to try to be there to support one another the best that you can.”
The couple’s schedule on Friday is packed with a Festival of Ideas speaker and their son’s basketball game, but they said they hope to have a Valentine’s celebration one night this week. For actual Valentine’s Day, however, they will spend the day doing what they know best – dividing and conquering.
