I began transitioning in April of 2020.
I think it was easier to have the first few “awkward” months of transitioning be virtual and private. So in that way, I can’t speak on the experience of freshly cracked eggs (an egg is a term meaning someone who does not know they are trans) on ETSU’s campus. Virtually, people seemed supportive. My professors used my correct pronouns, even before my name change. Oftentimes the Zoom screen was littered with black screens, however, so I could never tell if there were eyerolls or sneering by my classmates.
I hate to reduce transness to “passing” or not, but physically, I do pass; I can walk the campus without harassment as a trans woman. In that manner, I can’t speak to how cis students treat trans students. Having said that, while speaking, my voice isn’t “traditionally” feminine. I haven’t asked my classmates what they think of me or not. In certain classes, I am out and speak on issues with the critical lens of my transsexuality. In other classes, not so much.
I had an experience over the summer during a program on campus. I had decided, since it was relevant to my research, that openly admitting to everyone that I am trans was appropriate and necessary—I felt that I am not ashamed and have nothing to hide. One of the facilitators of the program, while not outwardly using the incorrect pronouns, used male-identified colloquialisms to refer to me, such as “buddy,” or “bud” or “guy.” She teetered the line so as to “rebel” against whatever she thought of me.
The program ended and I felt unsure of how I should proceed. Do I have to work extra hard so that people don’t know I’m trans? Should I go into debt to get laser hair removal? Do I have to hide my identity, change my course of study, and never write about my experience? Can I continue my transition?
I don’t know how I will proceed, entirely, in how I will disclose my identity. So far, I’ve been taking it class by class, trying to get a feel of how the other students will react.
But my experience on campus, as a trans student, is only one, skewed perspective. I reached out to Dr. Bethan Novotny, director of the Patricia Robertson Pride Center, for more information on resources and experiences of LGBTQIA2S+ students on campus.
In our talk, they spoke about the preferred name request available to ETSU students and faculty, in which ETSU will change your name on your student ID, D2L, and Outlook email, without the need of legal documentation (of course ETSU also has the route for if someone legally changes their name).
Dr. Novotny also spoke about possible pronoun stickers on student IDs in the future. They then started speaking about the gender neutral restrooms on campus, that there are maps online for restroom locations.
Interesting for academics, Dr. Novotny said, “Part of the Pride Center’s longer term goal is to create some kind of research wing of the center,” which will aid in interdisciplinary approaches for trans and queer studies.
Then we spoke about the trans support group available on campus for gender binary, non-binary, questioning, and anyone who may identify under the word “trans.” The group meets from 1-2:30 every other Thursday, starting Sept. 2nd (email the Pride Center for more information).
I was impressed, and grateful, for the many improvements for LGBTQIA2S+ students, especially the trans students. I did ask Dr. Novotny a final question: What do you think ETSU could do better?
After I asked, we sat in silence. They looked down and into the right, pondering what I had asked. They began to try to fill the silence with filler words, “um” and “wow.” I let them keep thinking.
They said, “I mean, it’s a great question.”
Silence continued. We looked across the objects in their office, examining the floor and the calmly lit room. They appeared to be thinking of something, perhaps some particular incident, maybe they had even heard about my incident.
They seemed unsure if this was the place to say something, or maybe even wanted to carefully word whatever they were to say next. I didn’t need actual words to feel our common experience, to know that when I asked “what does ETSU need to do better,” that the question could fill a semester’s worth of coursework.
They eventually said, “I think we need to continue to work toward a more equitable campus, where we celebrate and affirm all of our students, faculty and staff.”
I walked away from their office, happier from the interview, like I was truly a part of a community.
