Noella Bush, daughter of Florida governor Jeb Bush, was arrested Jan. 29 for prescription drug fraud. Like her cousins, she proves that the Bush girls ain’t scared one bit. Noella posed as a doctor and called in a phony prescription for Xanax. These are the top 10 reasons why she needed Xanax so badly that night.
10) She had just walked in on George Sr. and Barb playing hide the salami and couldn’t get the wrinkled image from her mind.
9)Anxiety stemming from the loss of Steve Spurier has kept her restless at night.
8) She still has the missing Florida ballots in her closet, and there are just too many buttons on that darn paper shredder machine thingy.
7) Her and Kathryn Harris were going out that night to Chippendale’s to have a few Cosmopolitans. Kathryn’s connection was out of town.
6) She was getting them for Spring Break. See, she thought spring break was in February this year but later realized it was just one of those really realistic dreams that had tricked her yet again.
5) Race season is just around the corner and a few painkillers helps a girl like her deal with all the NAS-CAR fans who think, “To hell with your mountains, show me your Bush” is a clever pick-up line.
4) There really is nothing like the feeling of popping a few Xanax and going to the tanning bed.
3.) Hydrocodones give her gas.
2.) Every time they go out, W’s daughters are always hogging the beer bong.
1.) Come on man, her dad’s name is Jeb.

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