Dear Couch,
This semester I have bitten off more than I can chew, and I’m not sure what to do about it. I have always been the kind of person who likes to stay busy, who enjoys doing good work and who loves to feel accomplished. If someone needs something from me, I do my best to help them, even if I have 60 million other things on my plate.
For instance, I worked all summer without a vacation, instead of requesting time off to go to the beach with my family. These workaholic tendencies have gotten me in trouble. Now, I feel hemmed in, and trapped within my own responsibilities. I am currently working two part-time jobs on top of being a full-time student. If I neglect any of my duties in my jobs, or if I try to quit one job, it could have negative repercussions for my future career and my resume. Not to mention, a little angel on my shoulder is telling me that would be downright irresponsible, as there are others who depend on me for leadership, guidance and support. I can’t bail out now. But I also can’t drop any classes – if I do so, I’ll lose my scholarships.
After this heavy semester, I am contemplating taking some time off from school. Another part of me wants to finish my degree as fast as possible and get out of Johnson City, on to greener pastures and the job that I want.
Many people refer to college as the “best time in your life,” but my experience this semester isn’t enjoyable. In short, this is no way to live, and I’m not sure that I can handle another three months of it. I wrote in because the more I look around, the more I see others in the same predicament – people working their asses off, juggling boyfriends and friends and jobs and school in pursuit of a degree (or degrees). Is this the anthem of the modern college student? What happened to drinking binges and skipping class? I’m worried that on top of all of this responsibility I have heaped upon myself, I may look back on college as four years of torturous work and stress.
– A Mess of StressDear Mess,
I think you said it best when you said this is no way to live. It seems that you’re having some boundary issues, as in not setting enough of them with others and your work. I would advise against dropping classes or taking a break – once you get out of school, it’s harder to come back. You are putting a bit too much pressure on yourself. You say that you can’t quit one of your jobs because there are others who depend on you for guidance and support; but let’s remember, you are not irreplaceable, and you can’t sacrifice your sanity for everyone else. That “little angel” on your shoulder sounds like she needs to take a hike.
As for college being the best time in your life, I’m not too sure about that, especially if you’re working hard at gaining experience and maintaining scholarships. But it need not cause you so much heartache and stress. Is there any way you could let one job go to make room for more fun/relaxation?
You have your whole life to work and be stressed, so there’s no need to push yourself so hard right now and jeopardize your relationships. Work will always be there; friends and partners won’t be if you keep pushing them aside for your myriad responsibilities. As H.L. Hunt said, “Decide what you want, decide what you are willing to exchange for it. Establish your priorities and go to work.”
– The Couch

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