Dear Couch,
I’m having some problems at work, and I need your advice.
Somehow, at work, I seem to keep making mistakes. Although these mistakes are unintentional, they have led to quite a bit of conflict with one of my bosses. I’ve been warned several times, and now I’m worried
that if I slip up again, I could lose my job.
Keep in mind that I love my job – it’s the best job that I’ve ever had. The mistakes I’ve made are “learning” mistakes, and all of them were unintentional.
I could understand him being hard on me, but he seems to be taking it too far. The tiniest
mistake leads to a full-on yelling match and a harsh reprimand.
He has threatened to fire me on multiple occasions, and has also threatened to demote another one of my superiors who defends me. He said that if I mess up again, she is the one who will get demoted.
This situation has obviously created a lot of tension at my workplace – between myself and my boss, and between my boss and other superiors, and between all of us who work together. I want to be a good, trustworthy employee, but all of the tension makes me nervous.
I am the kind of person where, if I get nervous or feel tense, I’m more likely to goof up than I am if I feel I’m in a stable environment.
The worst part of this situation
is that other employees who were males have not been reprimanded as harshly for making the same mistake that I have made. Does this mean that my boss is a sexist? How do I deal with this? I feel like I’m being unfairly treated and singled out. Yet, I like my job and want to keep it, as I believe it will lead to other, better jobs in the future. Please help.
– Worried WorkaholicDear Worried,
To quote the omnipotent, trustworthy Texan, Dr. Phil, you teach people how to treat you. Full-on yelling matches? Harsh reprimands? It sounds like your boss needs to take a major chill pill.
What’s worse is, you’re taking all this while claiming that this is the best job you’ve ever had. Are you kidding? Where are you used to working that this job seems so great? Women’s prisons? Look, Worried, jobs are important, but so is your self-respect. You say that this job will lead to other, better ones, but will it really? What if the next person you interview with calls your boss for a reference?
What’s he going to say that will be at all flattering?
And as far as his being sexist, I would say it’s a little odd that he jumps down your throat for the same mistakes a guy makes, but sexism is difficult to prove. It sounds like a toxic environment,
and if you’re young and don’t have a lot of job experience,
you may not realize that this type of workplace atmosphere
is not acceptable.
And if you do have a lot of job experience, then shame on you for taking this! There are few things in life that we have control over, but jobs are one of them. Because jobs are easier to find when you’ve already got one, start looking for another one that doesn’t cite “sustaining brow beatings” in the job description. Once you’ve obtained a new position,
fire your boss. Hopefully by then, you’ll see that your self-respect is worth more than your resume.
– The Couch

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