Dear Couch,
I’m having some major problems with my roommate. For one thing, I think whoever thought of putting two strangers in a room the size of a prison cell to live for two semesters needs to be psychiatrically evaluated, but that’s another story.
My problem is his constant messiness, late-night phone calls, and worst of all, his out-of-town girlfriend comes to spend the night every week and they refuse to get a hotel room, if you know what I mean.
They’ll even try to do it while I’m in the room and they think they’re being quiet! He says that there is no place else for them to go and be together.
I’ve had about enough of this and am at the end of my rope. I’ve talked to him about the situation but he doesn’t see a problem with it. Do you have any ideas?
– Grossed Out in GovernorsDear Grossed,
First things first: eewww. Your situation sounds like a touchy one. I must say, your roommate has some real chutzpah pulling stunts like that. Do he and his girlfriend have no shame?
I would first contact your resident advisor and tell him what’s going on. Certainly there are some rules about coeds staying the night and disrupting the peace, and if not, they should make some.
If that doesn’t work, try mediation with your roommate and RA present to work things out agreeably. Perhaps you could work out a system in which your roommate hangs a sign on the door when he and his girlfriend are . you know.
Your roommate says there’s no place else for them to go, but that’s not your problem. If a peaceable agreement can’t be reached between you and your bawdy bunkmate, I would put in a request for a new, more respectful one. In the meantime, invest in some earmuffs to curb the nighttime noise.

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