They say the first step toward recovery is to admit you have a problem. My name is G. Michael Thomas and I am Graduation Gownaphobic. After seven years in school (spread out over 29 years) I think that I have become institutionalized.
I have enjoyed my time at ETSU very much. With the exception of the endless math classes, I have loved the academic atmosphere, the classes, the intellectual exercise and talking with hundreds of new friends among the students, faculty and staff.
As a general studies major, I also have had the extra freedom of choosing classes that interest me personally. I have been able to debate in political science classes, perform some of the most incredible music in chorale, stare like a deer in headlights in math classes and learn how to write in really tough English courses.
I also have had the privilege to write for the East Tennessean this last year. Meredith Mitchell, Eileen Rush, Kimberly Foli and April Young have been most gracious in giving me a forum, for good or ill, and I thank them.
I am amazed that I have been up to many of the challenges given to me. I have been able to channel my mid-life crisis into these classes. I actually feel, well, smart. That is, until I walk out of my developmental math and prob and stats classes. I have math anxiety. I find it ironic that the professors of this most arcane art are the nicest people I’ve met. Even when I run into them on campus now, they always ask how I am doing. I really do appreciate them helping me through a most baffling course.
I have really enjoyed being around so many bright young people as well. I don’t know what kind of world they are about to enter, and what it’s going to be like, but they are going to be ready to meet it.
To be quite honest, I don’t want to leave. It has been exhilarating and that is what I will miss. I know I can come back for graduate degrees (and I may), but somehow it wouldn’t be the same.
I will miss the variety of learning. Going from algebra II to American government to choir then values and ethics in literature, along with the lovely hike through campus with a 20-pound pack, I exercised my mind in many different directions at once.
I don’t know how I will function in the outside world. It is not nearly as exciting as college, believe me.
So how do I get over this institutionalization? By going out and putting this new degree to work. By actually living up to the potential every teacher told my mother I had but wasn’t on my grade school report cards.
As a dropout, it was easy to hang my failures and disappointments on that hook and say “if only.” As a graduate (please God, let me pass prob & stats!), it is now entirely up to me.
I have the tools, I have the proof of my intelligence and I have the desire to find a really good job (if for no other reason than to pay off these damn student loans).

Author