Affect, effect. Farther, further. Imply, infer.The English language can be confusing.

“Marriage” is another word that causes a stir.

Some say marriage is the union of one man and one woman. Some say it is generally the union of two people. It is when “marriage” is preceded by “gay” that the definition becomes a primary catalyst of debate regarding the treatment of homosexuality.

My definition of homosexuality may differ from yours. I don’t believe anyone is an abomination for having an inclination toward either gender. If homosexuality is a symptom of insanity, consider me off my rocker until further notice.

Homosexuality must never be defined as a choice every homosexual makes. Would you choose to be neon pink in a society that condemned neon pink people?

For some, it is possible to “convert.” For the rest, it is eerie to imagine anything outside the norm of our particular groove. The origin of our preferences does nothing to justify or explain why one orientation may marry while another cannot.

“I identified as a lesbian for six years of my young adult life and was not allowed to marry the person I loved,” junior Brittany Shope said. “I’ve been in a committed relationship with a man for a year and a half and now I am allowed to get married. I haven’t changed. I’m still the same person. My rights shouldn’t be conditional.”

My definition of marriage may differ from yours. I don’t believe in judging the validity of a relationship through anatomical prerequisites.

Being gay does allow me to understand companionship beyond penis/vagina shenanigans but there are plenty of straight people who have opened their minds.

“Many like to use the ideal that by making gay marriage illegal, it’s protecting the sanctity of marriage, yet statistically half of straight marriages end in divorce,” ETSU graduate Ashley Peterson said. “How is not allowing gays and lesbians the right to marriage saving an ideal that has already been trashed?”

Harvard librarian Dennis Prater agreed.

“Gay marriage means marriage under the law for consenting adults who are not hurting anyone. Fox News was against gay marriage and they also had that show, ‘Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire?’ Marriage is sacred to these people? Love is hard enough to come by in this world, and why should someone stand in the way of it?”

My definition of love may differ from yours.

I don’t believe in soul mates or sanctimony.

Jon, Kate and Vegas – need I say more? I do believe the couples whose marriages were challenged by Proposition 8 were wronged, including those yet to be “given” the right to marry.

I am appalled by the plethora of anti-gay agendas while war, hunger, poverty, global warming, capitalism and the “Saw” movies thrive.

A wedding planner donated $10,000 to support the marriage ban in California. How is that for a recession-survival strategy?

Most importantly, those murdered every day for being gay deserve consideration, especially for those who believe marriage is a heterosexual privilege.

Being against rights for gays is a filtered version of being against their well-being.

If you were born and raised in Iran, how would you react to the hanging in July 19, 2005, of a 16- and 18-year-old gay couple?

If they were born and raised in the United States, how would you feel – assuming the two grew past their teenage years – if they wanted to be treated with equality?

My definition of equality may differ from yours.

I don’t believe apathy, murder or “separate but equal” tactics will help us evolve.

Though civil unions are a step forward, we have seen throughout our brief history the result of a “separate but equal” approach toward equality. Legislating separation destroys and ends lives.

The same treatment is being applied to minorities today and the same mentality is a primary defense against rights for gays.

Citing a deity or form of government as having the say over the pursuit of anyone’s happiness is beyond unconstitutional; it is poisonous.

If you are anti-gay, prepare for the potentiality of telling your child he or she can’t marry or adopt children without moving to a different state.

I promise you will find less heartache in fighting for your child’s right to the home and family he or she deserves. Those concerned their children will be taught about homosexuality in schools need to realize no number of banned children’s books and no amount of legislation will outlaw non-heterosexuality.

There will always be recess, lunchtime, and little boys and girls who will grow up to be gay, straight or bisexual.

Parents must minimize psychological damage, not cause it.

As long as no one is being harmed, my beliefs will never lead me to tell a family member, a friend or a stranger how to live.

It is unacceptable that my own rights go challenged by non-secular sources in a country that promises separation of church and state.

Our rights are sacred; they were with us before the Bill of Rights and even before we were doodling in caves.

It should never have been acceptable for people to tell others which school to attend, from which fountain to drink and in which section of a bus to sit. Now it seems no less difficult for people to tell others they cannot wed or adopt, even as the economy dwindles and the number of children in orphanages “age out” without a family.

Anyone truly fighting for family values would respect an orphan’s right to be adopted by any self-sufficient foster parent or couple.

There is solace to be found in the natural progress that takes place within us. Internal change is a component of our otherwise stubborn infrastructure; exposure to the unfamiliar is crucial.

It could take a film like “Boys Don’t Cry” or the pictures of a couple in Iran being hanged.

It could take someone committing suicide for fear of not being accepted or it could take accepting yourself for who you are.

There will be a time when those opposed to positive change will be exposed to their misplaced fears.

Thomas Jefferson said that every generation needs a new revolution. Our generation is lucky; we don’t have to waste tea or decapitate politicians. We must simply understand each other and be prepared to remind our government we still have harbors and sharp objects.

Understand?

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