Sex Matters is a column that addresses students’ questions about sexuality and relationships. It provides readers with reliable, accessible information and a range of thoughtful perspectives so that students can make personal and responsible decisions concerning their health and well-being.

Students are encouraged to email their questions to oasis@etsu.edu. All Sex Matters questions will be read, however, not all questions will be selected for publication.

Sex Matters’ questions will be published anonymously and answered by an ETSU Counseling Center licensed counselor, Rebecca Alexander as part of the Outreach & Advocacy: Sexuality Information for Students (OASIS) campus programming.

Rebecca Alexander is a licensed marriage and family therapist and part of the ETSU Counseling Center team.

In addition to counseling students and staff, she is also program coordinator for OASIS, and ETSU campuswide program addressing sexuality and relationships.

She tells us that while she is certainly not an expert on all topics, she will do her best to consult with other professionals when necessary to provide the best information possible

Dear Sex Matters,

How do I dump my boyfriend? I have been going out with a guy for over a month and it’s just not working, but the problem is I don’t know how to dump him!

-Wanting My Freedom

Dear Freedom,

Good call. It’s best to recognize and deal with your relationship problems now, rather than letting them linger for too long when they can become even harder to handle.

I am interested in your choice of words.

Do you want to:

A. “Dump” your boygriend like yesterday’s rubbish. . . with no explanation?

B. Channel Snooki from “Jersey Shore” and just trash the guy?

C. End the relationship cordially?

In a situation like this, I believe that kindness and respect count.

Of course, you have options. You can let him know over the phone (actually speaking to him, not voicemail or text), or you can see him one last time.

If you choose to meet, a quiet place shows caring, allowing for few interruptions or opportunities for humiliation, or a scene.

Tell him what you told us: “It’s just not working.”

You don’t have to blame him, and you don’t have to justify yourself.

Keep your message short and clear.

You may be doing him a favor by breaking up … providing him with an opportunity not to waste any more time or energy in an unsatisfying relationship that isn’t going to work.

This way, he can get on to the possibility of someone new and someone with whom he can experience happiness, respect and dignity.

As you give him this option, you also give it to yourself.

Editor’s note: People have some serious misconceptions about adulthood. Like the idea that the older you get, the fewer questions you have to ask.

College students tend to have more questions than answers, especially in matters of life and love.

OASIS has joined forces with the East Tennessean in an effort to implement a new column to help us cope with issues from hook-ups to break-ups and everything in between.

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