Halloween is over, but who cares! Horror movies are great at all times of the year. Why not celebrate Christmas Eve by watching someone’s face get brutally bashed in? It’s a great stress reliever!
The scary movie market, however, has been flooded with sequels, copies and remakes. I’m looking at you, “The Purge.” A lot of horror movies follow the horror movie formula to a T; producing a movie that may provide a couple of scares, but won’t leave you with any lasting effects. When I see a spooky ghost who lives in a TV, or a stupid doll asking to be curb-stomped, I might jump a bit, but the implausibility of the situation prevents me from being truly frightened.
The only exception to this rule is Eddie Murphy’s “Haunted Mansion”. That movie gave me nightmares for seven years. You can judge me, but my therapist supports me.
Personally, a horror movie makes you think, as stupid as that sounds. Look, I’m in my third semester of college and I just learned what an adverb is.
The first horror movie I would recommend is “Scream”. Listen, I know this is a basic one, but I’m going after classic, scary movies right now. I will not be listing your favorite 80’s Norwegian cyberpunk alien silent film you watched as a child. “Scream” is a classic horror movie that isn’t terrifying, but certainly won’t leave you feeling bored while watching it (*cough* *cough* “Halloween Kills”). You can stream “Scream” on HBO Max.
The second movie I would recommend is “Get Out”. This movie leaves you with a chilling feeling once completed. The movie uses racial identity to build some absolutely horrifying moments. “Get Out’s” likelihood is absurd, but its social commentary is truly what makes this a horror movie. White people suck. I know, I’m white, but this isn’t white guilt, this is white depreciation. How much pride can you have in a culture when its most prominent features are casseroles, calling the police and listening to Ed Sheeran? Anyways, you can watch “Get Out” on HBO Max.
The third horror movie I would recommend is “Midsommar.” This movie is not for the faint of heart. I found myself absolutely disgusted when I watched this movie, but in the best way possible. A couple of scenes have left a lasting effect on my psyche (you’ll know which ones). The most terrifying aspect about this is its historical accuracy. Let’s be honest, our ancestors have done some messed up things. Have you seen the wigs they used to wear? Somebody call E! I also had to pause this movie and dry heave over a toilet bowl for 10 minutes; after it was over, I stared at a wall and contemplated my own mortality. You can watch “Midsommar” on Amazon Prime.
Here we have three horror movies you have more than likely seen: a classic, a terrifying social commentary and one that will make you nauseous; a sacred trinity, if you will. The moral of this article is that the real world is scary as hell, and the only way movies can capture it is by being as accurate as possible.
Also, I lied. I don’t know what an adverb is. Go Bucs!
