W. LOCUST ST. – Palestine’s top health authority announced Thursday that recent medical studies appear to link hearing loss with detonating chest-mounted bombs.
Although the announcement was met with skepticism, Palestinian militant groups such as Hamas have agreed to provide suicide bombers with earplugs should they be requested by the bomber to do so pre-detonation.
Surgeon General Abdullah Ali claimed that informing the public of the medical risk of blowing one’s self up would help maintain a healthier population.
“Recruiters are often failing to inform potential suicide bombers that in addition to, and partially as a result of, having one’s head explosively separated from one’s body, one is very likely to suffer hearing loss which could be irreversible,” the surgeon general said.

Author