Dear Answer Girl,
What is my favorite food?
-something creativeWhat a great question! Thanks for writing in.
A nutrition analyst will be along shortly to distribute a questionnaire that will help you to find these essential answers.
Just sit tight and be sure not eat anything before he or she gets there. Eating immediately prior to taking the survey can skew the results, rendering them completely invalid. If you’re a little nervous about it, here’s what to expect:
1. When you think about a great dinner, what food comes to mind?
2. If someone told you that you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would you choose? 2b. If you answered question two with “tacos,” please specify hard or soft.
3. When you go to restaurants, what do you usually order? 3b. When you go to restaurants, how do you usually pay? 3c. If you answered “with a credit card” for question 3b, please enter your credit card type, number, expiration date and billing address. (This information is for identity verification purposes only. Under no circumstances will charges exceed your credit limit.)
4. If someone asked you what your favorite food was, how would you answer?
That’s it. After you’re finished with the survey, it will be graded and you will receive a personalized Favorite Food Report to your campus P.O. Box within six weeks.
If you’d like to purchase an Extended Favorite Food Report with Personality Analysis and Dating Match Suggestions, just send $29.99 to the address shown on your Favorite Food Report. If you happened to enter your credit card information under question 3c on the survey, you will automatically get the Extended Report with no additional hassle.
If you are usually not a good test taker, you may experience similar symptoms when you attempt to take this high stress questionnaire. If this is the case, you may be better off keeping a detailed food journal.
Write down every crumb or drop that you eat, look at, smell or think about for at least four months. Then, simply create a chart listing every food that you noted and the corresponding number of times it appears in your journal.
The most repeated food will likely be either your favorite food or Pal’s sweet tea.
If the latter is true, all is not lost – you will already have your answer to the next question that I know is on your mind: “Why do I have to make trips to the bathroom so much more than any of my friends?”
Anyway, I’m really glad that you brought your nutritional query to me. Favorite foods are very important for a fulfilling life.
In fact, if you never figure out your favorite food, you’ll never be cool and popular, self-actualized, in balance with nature, fully rested, emotionally satisfied, independent and self-sufficient, successful at work, a good fit in most of your clothes or in full appreciation of art (including visual arts, musical arts, and literary arts, among others).
Please don’t give up on your quest until you find that special food. The world may depend on it.


Got a question for the Answer Girl? E-mail it to ETSUAnswerGirl@hotmail.com and look for your question in a future issue!

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