So many times in a relationship everything is based on the first impression, usually being the first date.
The elusive first date turns men into mice and women to the role of “Queen of the Hill.”
In this column Star has control of the hill and no man is taking her down. I asked Star Tuesday what she expects on a first date?
“I do not want the dinner and the movie. It’s too easy for guys because, for most of the movie they sit in silence,” Star said.
“On my first date with Rick, (her ex) he took me to dinner then we went and fed ducks,” Star said of her best date so far.
As Cher sings, “It’s in his kiss,” and I asked Star how important the first kiss was.
“Its very important. The worst first kiss I’ve ever had left my face all wet, like a dog had licked it,” she said.
As Star and I were conversing, her best male friend Larry walked in and I asked him the same question.
Larry poignantly said, “The first kiss is very important, so much that the relationship lives and dies on the fact.”
Then there is the sex factor. Is there going to be sex on the first date?
“Sex is not a first-date deal, it’s more just hanging out,” replied Star.
Larry said the same thing, but I noticed a common factor in both Larry and Star. They are both in their mid-20s, so the hormonal sex-driven teen years are behind them. At least on the first date.
So, I asked, when does sex come into your relationships?
Larry quickly said that he views it as an investment-and-return kind of deal. “If I invest in the girl I expect return,” he said – no less than a proper economist.
After we talked our way through relational economics then we moved on to the ever-changing field of science.
Does there need to be chemistry?
“Oh yeah, I want a guy who I can talk to. Do stupid stuff in front of him. Laugh at the same crazy things,” Star said in her mellow voice.
More friends dropped by Star’s apartment as the time grew later.
This time it was Dirk.
Dirk is the kind of guy who lays it straight out to his lady friends. He’s the stereotypical, “treat her bad and she’ll love you more” kind of guy.
Dirk is not the Keynes of relational economics unlike his counterpart Larry. He believes, like so many dictators have, that he already has all the goods so the girls walk in his direction.
Watching the three friends I saw a more relaxed attitude towards dating.
There is definitely a strong friendship between them. Even Dirk when not playing the “playa” can be hospitable.
So what was learned for the second interview?
First impressions are still important. Kiss her like there’s no tomorrow.
Star stays away from my friend Bart’s advice, “take her to the Outback and then take her out back.”
It’s more like take her to the Otter and then lead her to the stream.

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