When a child throws a temper tantrum, even the most sane and gentle of parents can turn from Mommy or Daddy Dearest – hissing words that would likely horrify Dr. Spock and the Federal Communications Commission.
But there might be a better way to deal with the sometimes hairy issues involved in raising children – a way that will keep the FCC off your back.
Leslie Sharpe, a graduate assistant at ETSU’s Counseling Center, is reaching out to weary parents in the form of STEP. Systematic Training for Effective Parenting is a four-week workshop offered this fall to ETSU students who are parents of children under the age of 6.
The STEP workshop offers hope to parents by giving them tools to deal with tough situations and helping them to build their child’s self-esteem, said Sharpe, who facilitates the program.
The lessons taught in STEP will allow parents to better understand the reasons behind their child’s misbehavior and provide them with much-needed support from those who can relate to their trials and tribulations, Sharpe said.
“When you understand why a child is behaving a certain way, you can react accordingly and learn to disrupt power struggles,” said Sharpe, who used the example of tantrums to illustrate her point.
Most tantrums happen because a child is either frustrated or trying to gain power, she said.
For example, a two-year old may throw a tantrum when performing a task she finds too difficult.
“With this situation, it’s usu ally best to let the child cry out their frustration,” Sharpe said. “Then, when she’s done, hold and comfort her.”
This sounds simple enough, but what about those all-out, power-tripping, screaming fits children throw in the middle of Wal-Mart?
While Sharpe is quick to point out that there is no hard-and-fast rule to stopping power tantrums, she offered suggestions that might minimize the public domestic dispute.
One way, she said, is for parents to lay down some ground rules before an outing.
“Tell your child, ‘We’re going to the store but we’re not going to buy any toys. Today, we’re buying things for home.'”
If that doesn’t work, and your child spies a toy she has to have, it might be best to ignore her behavior, said Sharpe.
And if that fails, it’s time to go home.
“Kids are smart. If you given in to their tantrums, they’ll keep having them,” she said.
While parents usually know what works and what doesn’t work with their child, Sharpe encourages ETSU parent-students to take advantage of the STEP program as a way to hone their skills, improve relationships with their children, and commiserate with other parents.
“Parenting is stressful even under the best of circumstances.,” Sharpe said. “Add the responsibilities of school and work to that mix and it becomes even more demanding.”
The STEP program will be held on Tuesday evenings between Sept. 21 and Oct. 12 in the Center for Physical Activity.
The workshop is free to ETSU students, but participants will be asked to purchase a workbook from the campus bookstore. Free child care will be provided by Campus Recreation.
For those in two-parent families, both partners are encouraged to participate, although both parents do not need to be ETSU students.
For more information or to register, call 439-4841 by Sept. 16. The STEP program is co-sponsored by the ETSU Counseling Center and Campus Recreation.

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