“I washed my hands in muddy water, Washed my hands, but they didn’t come clean, I tried to do what my daddy told me, But I must have washed my hands in a muddy stream.”
–Joe Babcock, 1964This past Thursday morning started out like any other morning with the newspaper, a cup of coffee, a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios, a vitamin pill and a muted television set.
I keep the television muted until I’m finished with breakfast and occasionally glance up at the forever-slow 6th grade-level news ticker, just in case. And then, it happened.
Between bites of cereal I’m suddenly subjected to the most revolting news item I’ve seen or heard over the past several months.
So taken back by the news, I spit cereal across the table, took the television off mute, and said something that can’t be printed here.
The nation has been informed that some members of congress will be receiving their flu vaccinations because the House attending physician, Dr. John F. Eisold, said he considers all legislative members to be in the high risk category simply because they meet and shake hands with people every day.
Eisold’s office went as far to say that on any given day on Capitol Hill, there may be 100 countries represented and congressional members meet and shake the hands of foreign leaders, then go home to their districts and shake the hands of their constituents which is why they are being encouraged to take the shots.
Are you telling us that these politicians don’t wash their hands before they go home, or that they don’t follow the advice that was recently issued by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention?
Or, that all foreign dignitaries have some kind of contagious disease? Or, that the average American doesn’t shake hands with someone on a daily basis?
You know, this may be the single most asinine statement ever to come out of Washington, D.C.
Does Eisold, or anyone else connected with his office think that the American public is dumb enough to accept that excuse of an explanation?
I’m not sure how the good doctor pronounces his name, but it doesn’t take much imagination to know what it sounds like.
Incidentally, the 2,000 shots were being offered to the congressional members and their staff at no charge.
This is just another slap in the face of all Americans who are unable to afford health care.
And then, the blame game immediately began.
Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist, R-Tenn., said that the members of Congress were only following federal guidelines or their own doctor’s recommendations.
Frist then claimed that the Democrats were blowing this issue out of proportion and even went as far to suggest that trial lawyers, like John Edwards, contributed to the shortage with lawsuits against vaccination makers.
The Kerry campaign meanwhile blames the Bush administration for their lack of preparedness in cases of emergencies and then having the nerve to tell the rest of the nation to keep calm.
With the election only one week away, I sincerely doubt if anyone is going to keep calm on this issue – let alone all the other issues – which is why I suppose I’ve worn the mute button out on the television remote by pressing it every time a politician appears on the screen.
I’m sick and tired of hearing President Bush, Vice President Cheney, Sen. Kerry, Sen. Edwards and anyone else associated with any campaign – be it national, state or local – proclaim to the voting public that their opponents don’t know s— from shin-nola.
My God! And we thought that the Bush vs. Gore campaign of 2000 was bad.
So, why can’t members of Congress wash their hands as the CDC recommended?
Politicians have been washing their hands for well over 2000 years.
Some historical accounts even state that Pontius Pilate was the first politician to officially wash his hands of any wrongdoing and since then the water has surely been muddied.
Wasn’t it Pilate who also asked the question, “What is Truth?”
Even then, politicians had no idea of what the truth was and nothing has changed.
Since this may turn out to be the dirtiest presidential campaign in American history, when you go to the polls next Tuesday be sure and wash your hands after you vote.
Politicians should have as much class as the two teams representing baseball in this year’s World Series. Congratulations to the St. Louis Cardinals and the Boston Red Sox – genuine winners.
From the Cannon Corner, I’m Larry French.

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