OK, you’ve bought the pumpkin for the front porch. You have the weird bowl that makes noises and the fog machine that spews nasty air for 30 minutes before breaking.
You bought a fabulous costume from the store and have established that this year you are going to be the best candy-giver-outer in town.
Heck, you’ve even mastered the art of cackling to freak out little kids when they come to the door.
So what are you missing? Besides your dignity, I mean.
Why, the all-important candy of course.
Unless you plan to hand out apples and have your residence vandalized, candy is the only way to go. Very few children appreciate having stickers, pencils and – the horrors – granola bars thrown into their little plastic pumpkins come Oct. 31.
Kids can get stickers and health food any day, but how many holidays do you know of that gives children (and adults) license to eat sugar until they puke? Not too many I’d wager.
So, there’s a conundrum.
Here you are, a health conscious soul I’m sure, who wants kids to understand the benefit of living a nutritious life while still indulging in a night of binge snacking.
What to do, what to do?
Well, my suggestion would be pick the best candy you can. No, I don’t mean read labels to see if the Snickers have one less trans-fat gram than the Milky Ways.
I mean something more powerful, but a lot less noticeable.
I say, go vegan, if only for a night.
I know what you’re thinking – didn’t I just say stay away from the health food? Yeah, I did, and believe it or not, the phrases “vegan” and “kid friendly” are not mutually exclusive.
In fact, I bet most of you love vegan candy and you don’t even know it.
Ever eat a bag of Swedish Fish? How about a package of Twizzlers or Jolly Ranchers?
Yeah, they’re vegan. They’re mighty tasty too, if I do say so myself. And, they’re not alone in the tasty vegan treat department either.
True you could always hand out any old candy and be almost positive that it’s at least vegetarian, but would you want you or your kid ingesting mass amounts of some of the ingredients in non-vegan candy?
Take gelatin for instance. It’s found in Skittles, Starburst and almost all other soft, chewy candies. Doesn’t sound too icky unless you know what gelatin is. Gelatin is a mixture of boiled animal hooves, skin, tendons, ligaments and probably a little blood and pus that wasn’t quite washed off the body parts when processing began.
I don’t know about you, but that does not sound appetizing to me, especially if I’m planning to gorge myself on it via candy.
I’d prefer some Mary Janes and Ring Pops – two other vegan yummies.
Chocolate is another danger zone.
Now, I won’t lie to you and say that I never eat chocolate, but I don’t eat it often and I certainly don’t eat three pounds of it in one sitting. Three pounds is probably an understatement when it comes to Halloween hauls.
So, what’s wrong with chocolate you ask? More body parts and nauseating ingredients? Well, no, but most chocolate is made with milk which has been linked to all sorts of nasty problems including cancer, diabetes and heart disease. Not to mention that much caffeine in a child is never a good thing.
I’m certainly not saying that by eating some chocolate bars everyone is going to die, but I do think if there are healthier, and equally tasty, options available. Why not choose the stuff that won’t increase health risks?
Even if all the trick-or-treaters don’t understand your kindness through candy, at least you won’t have to eat a bunch of leftover bad stuff.
So if you think you can see yourself being the vegan-candy-giver-outer, I’ve got good news. I’m not going to make you read ingredient labels. I’m going to make it easy for you by giving you a link that will take you to a list of vegan candies and snacks that are not at all hard to come by.
Go to www.petakids.com/candy.html and you’ll get not only a list of vegan candy, but a list of snacks and a handy reference guide to some of the less-than-appealing ingredients in a lot of foods.
This way you can scope out some of the names of things lurking on ingredient lists that look harmless but are just plain gross.
When you find that you bought way too much vegan candy and need a way to get rid of the leftovers come November, look me up – especially if you bought PEZ.

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