So I went shopping the other day and I was astounded to find out that it’s already Christmas.
I don’t know what happened, but I’m a little sad. I’ve apparently missed Tofu-rkey Day. You know, that holiday before the one with all the shiny presents?
When did they change the holiest of holidays to early November? I certainly didn’t get the memo. Perhaps I wasn’t cool enough to be on the mailing list for that piece of information.
Or maybe, just maybe, it’s because Christmas is still Dec. 25, and the psychos in big business are just a little trigger happy with the tinsel. Could that be it? Nah, must have changed the dates on us.
But really, I understand the need to promote the toys, jewelry and all other essential parts of celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ, but do the goods really need promoting in October?
I’m not sure that putting up fake pine tree displays five feet from Halloween costumes is the way to go.
Yes, getting into that holiday spirit is great, but could we think about keeping it one holiday at a time maybe?
I like my once-a-month celebrations. In fact, I’m a little freaked out by the all-at-once phenomenon that’s getting increasingly ridiculous each passing year. Within a few years I bet we’ll never take any displays down.
We’ll have mall Easter Bunnies and Santas wearing “Kiss Me I’m Irish” pins while holding American flags, noshing on turkey legs and passing out bite-sized candy bars and conversation hearts to overly excited children.
Oh, and of course they’ll be plastered on cheap New Year’s champagne — wouldn’t want to leave a major holiday out.
I would feel bad excluding Chanukah, but I can’t remember the last time I saw ceiling-high displays of menorahs at Wal-Mart. Makes me appreciate the Jewish community even more – a million holidays and no mass promotion. Could Christianity possibly take a cue?
Don’t get me wrong, I love celebrating holidays.
OK, I like flowers in February, wearing green in March, eating candy in October and getting presents in December.
Truthfully, everything else is silly to me. I’m not a killjoy, but I don’t see why everyone else is so eager to throw away thousands of dollars a year to celebrate holidays they most likely don’t know anything about.
Do you know the orientation of St. Patrick’s Day? Isn’t it nice to know that when you’re getting completely wasted on March 17, you’re honoring a man beloved for converting pagans, not for dying his beer green?
Or how about when die-hard Christians refuse to let their children dress up for Halloween because it’s Satan’s holiday?
Maybe someone should let them know Halloween was originally a night of dancing around in masks to keep evil spirits at bay, not to encourage them.
I think someone, somewhere needs to set up their own holiday displays explaining the orientations of holidays rather than just encouraging the outpouring of monetary waste.
I would be more than happy to buy something from that store.
Heck, if they could explain to me how the reincarnation of Jesus became the bunny holiday I’d buy a lot of somethings from that store.
That’s one I still don’t get.
But I digress.
Holidays are wonderful. They give us excuses to dress up, pinch people, stuff ourselves and best of all, miss school and work.
I just wish we could learn to appreciate them more. We have what, eight major holidays celebrated by most Americans, and we have 12 months to celebrate them.
Do we honestly need to bring out the twinkly lights before the candy corn and pumpkin pie?
I don’t think so.

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