Several years ago, singer and entertainer, Ray Stevens wrote a song titled, “Would Jesus Wear a Rolex,” which took a jocular swipe at the world of television evangelists and their unscrupulous appetite for money while simultaneously preaching salvation.
This was followed by the vexatious WWJD craze.
From wristbands to T-shirts, from bumper stickers to costume jewelry and key chains to baseball hats, everyone who professed to know Jesus, was sporting their new-found fashion.
And now, religion in its attempt to become even more mainstream and secular, has finally succumbed to the retailer version of Easter.
The Almighty has been replaced by the almighty dollar.
Retail efforts to replace Christmas with a fat man in a red suit and reindeer that fly have been successful – why not try replacing Easter with the absurdity of rabbits and eggs, plastic grass-filled baskets, candy and fashions.
It’s only a matter of time before a new craze will be sweeping the country.
WJHEE. Would Jesus Hunt Easter Eggs?
How long will it be before the public is witness to a parishioner – dressed in a rabbit costume – standing on some street corner waving to the pubic on Easter morning, as the church resorts to their final and inane tactic to sway passing motorists to stop and hear the message of the Resurrection?
Elmer Gantry is alive and well and Nietzsche may indeed be correct.
And if you think I’m off base, may I suggest that you take a real close look at the advertisements that have appeared in the areas newspapers over the past several weeks, and judge for yourselves as to what the area churches are attempting to do to Easter, and question why.
Easter Extravaganzas and Egg Hunt – Jesus and Elvis: Resurrection Revisited – The Tomb is Empty Breakfast, Celebration and Egg Hunt – Sunrise Service, Breakfast, Rejoice in the Resurrection and Egg Hunt, are just a few of the new secular religious marketing ploys, created to lure everyone back to church.
But then of course, Easter is just that time of the year when people put on their newly purchased threads to make their semi-annual appearance at church, all the while praying that no one can remember the last time they were there, which was Christmas.
Easter is also that time of year when Christians enjoy singing the hymns of Ralph Vaughn Williams.
Of course Vaughn Williams was an agnostic, which makes the religious celebration of Easter even more ironic.
Religion was once in the business of saving souls, but since most religious organizations now fall somewhere under the non-profit category, I presume there can be no shame in cavorting with a rabbit.
And since the history and celebrations associated with Easter customs are actually pagan in origin, there are no revelations to be found here either.
In fact, the word Easter has nothing to do with any religion or resurrection.
It’s believed that the word is Scandinavian in origin and signifies nothing more than spring and fertility festivals which were associated with the vernal equinox.
The churches have merely incorporated the word to fit their vernacularisms.
So, put on your Easter bonnet, grab the kids, jump in the SUV and head to the nearest church this Sunday morning, filling up on candy eggs and Jesus gummy bears.
Then, show off your new wardrobe, sing and listen (?) to the preacher and go to the nearest restaurant where reservations are recommended.
Fill your gut with those needless and tempting desserts, drive to grandma’s house for an Easter supper and act as if you’re hungry.
Once there, the children will all run outside and play, hiding the eggs they received from the pastor, a substitute given in place of communion.
And as they hide the communion eggs, and the adults watch, no thought will be given to the words, “In remembrance of Me.”
After supper, there will be small talk around the kitchen table as strong black coffee is served.
Your mother, tired and old, will enter the dining room and ask a question. “Son, did the pastor talk about the Resurrection this morning?”
And as you sit there, with this dumb look on your face … all the time wondering – what resurrection? – don’t thank K-Mart, thank your church.
From the Cannon Corner, I’m Larry French.

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