Q: I am tired of all the cutesy couples. What is it about spring that makes people go crazy?
Out of the LoopA: The air is crisp. Flowers are budding. Birds are singing. And people are coupling at rates never before seen.
OK, so it’s not really spring for another 19 long days, and most of the trees are still dead. But the birds have been singing, and I too have noticed an unusual number of couples strolling around campus these last few days.
Truthfully, I have no idea what causes this strange annual phenomenon, but I do have a few ideas.
No. 1 Warm weather: ‘Duh,’ you might say. Warm weather makes people happier, since most of us have been stuck inside for a large portion of the not-so-cold winter watching cartoons and eating Cheetos.
With spring weather comes a sudden urge to wake up and smell the roses, to frolic through the fields, to ogle the cute bunnies that have come out to play.
While it is probably best to be alone while watching cartoons and eating Cheetos (after all, who finds couch potatoes attractive?), it would look awfully strange if you were to frolic through the fields by yourself.
They have a word for this, and it is “crazy.”
Frolicking through the fields with a significant other, however, is called “romantic.”
It is possible that many people simply need a partner in insanity.
No. 2 Allergies: With all that extra stuff clogging up your head, how can you be expected to think clearly? I realize there might be a bit of circular logic in my argument here.
If you have to frolic in the fields to get the allergies and you need a partner for frolicking, how can the allergies be the cause of the frolicking?
This is one of the great mysteries of the world, and hordes of scientists are currently asking themselves this very same question.
While this theory doesn’t explain the origins of the problem very accurately, it does explain why many spring romances last longer than the laws of physics allow.
Once you have been frolicking and clogged up your head, you will probably have to wait for your thoughts (and sinuses) to clear before you realize you should have broken up with him or her months ago.
No. 3 Warm weather II: When temperatures start rising, clothes start coming off. Not all the way off, mind you, but just enough to ignite curiosity. Sweatpants are replaced with tighter clothes and shorter skirts.
This theory perfectly explains why most spring romances do not last (and should not, actually).
Once a lot more clothes come off in the hot summer months, there is no suspense left and nothing to be curious about anymore.
So there you have it. A comprehensive, three-prong, very scientific explanation to your question. Or not.
Questions? Comments? Send e-mails to et_enchilada@yahoo.com

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