“The Black Dahlia” turns out to be a black hole
Enter a world full of palm trees, cigarette smoke and jazz music. Throw in a couple of detectives, a murder and a handful of sultry females with paper-thin alibis and you’ve got yourself the premise of this year’s “Based on True Events” (minus all the facts), “The Black Dahlia.”
In the trailer, which can be seen on a number of different television channels, the film is depicted as a loosely based story about the murder of Elizabeth Short, an aspiring actress with little or no talent. What’s surprising is that the murder didn’t take place for nearly 45 minutes, or so it seemed. What’s even more surprising is that the directors of this film found it in themselves to give Josh Hartnett (he’s still alive, I see) 10,000 monologues which were all lucky enough to make for lovely narration (a faint memory of “Sin City,” a razor to my wrist). What ever happened to that good ole cutting room floor?
Aside from failing to live up to the trailer, for which we can’t really blame the directors, the film also lacked the ability to draw viewers in. I can only speak for myself, of course, but based on the reactions of my fellow viewers (four friends, two old women who couldn’t stop cackling and a teenage couple which found the back of mine and my friend’s seats to be quite the foot rest) it seems as though I do not stand alone here. The overall atmosphere of the film, filled with 40’s style, was nothing short of amazing. It was the amateur editing, short choppy (reminding me of “Star Wars”) transitions that left me feeling completely separated from the characters.
The acting was the only aspect of the film that lived up to what I expected. Scarlett Johansson, whose character wasn’t the most interesting, still managed to captivate the audience with her seductive cigarette-puffing, trophy wife aura and adulterous ways. Hilary Swank, God’s gift to the silver screen, was perfect for her role as Madeline Linscott, the daughter of a prominent Scottish man, with ambiguous sexuality. It was she and Scarlett who stole the show along with the brief appearances of Mia Kirshner, who plays the black dahlia (a step up from “Not Another Teen Movie”). There was also a bit of comic relief courtesy of Fiona Shaw, who also stars as Aunt Petunia in the Harry Potter films, which managed to bring a bit of life back into the film.
Very few scenes stand out in my mind as being noteworthy. There was a brief scene in which the remains of Elizabeth Short are quickly shown on the coroner’s table as he explains the process by which she was killed. Any scene containing Swank is worthy of a second glance, including one interview in the front seat of her vehicle, a comical dinner and a showdown between she and Hartnett. The climax of the film, involving several gunshots and insane rants, was impressive although a bit too whimsical.
I left the theatre feeling slightly confused as to who did what and the identity of the culprit. There were too many characters, too many side-stories and too many attempts at being witty in the end. It’s not one of those films where you can guess who might be responsible or where things may be headed. You can only sit back and take what comes your way and appreciate the hard work that obviously went into the sets and recreation of the 40’s. There are a few laughs along the way closely followed by a handful of moments where you may cringe (whether it is from that damn narration or the knife running across Elizabeth’s face).
So, would I recommend this film? Sure, just don’t expect too much. Would I buy this film on DVD? I highly doubt it, although I would love to own this poster, which resembles the “Six Feet Under” side view of a cadaver, but that would make me just a little hypocritical, (never!). If you’re a fan of film noirs then this could very well be your cup of tea but just remember, never judge a film by its trailer. Misleading, false advertising editing Nazis!

Author