My mission, and I chose to accept it, was to live each day by the saying posted on the Pal’s restaurant sign. Every morning, I looked at the message as I drove by the Pal’s located on the Bristol Highway and abided by it to the best of my ability. The following is a true account of what happened.
Day one’s message: ‘Watch Home Movies’
As soon as I came back from class at ETSU, I dove into my closet and retrieved the dusty box that held my childhood memories captured on film. What should I watch first? The fuzzy T-ball video, which showcased me at five, plucking flowers in the outfield, was a good possibility, as was the VHS of Christmas ’96, which captured a spectacular 30-minute fight between my father and brother.
Instead, I pulled out the video of my first musical from the fourth grade, “The Snow Queen”. I’d nearly forgotten about this gem, which was a two-hour production featuring me as narrator for a story about a brother and sister team trying to save their village from an evil queen desiring it to be winter forever. I eagerly popped the tape in, only to quickly remember why I never watched it.
Whoever managed the spotlight had clearly never heard of those color gels that softened the harsh whiteness of the light. Instead, those who purchased this tape are treated to a blinding blob with stick-like legs, tiny feet and a high, slightly squeaky voice (did I really sound like that?). I did get a really good laugh out of it, however, and then returned to my regularly scheduled program.
Day two’s message: ‘Drink More Water’
I am one of those freakish people that drink an excessive amount of water already, so I decided to see what would happen if I drank only water for the whole day. I didn’t think living without caffeine would be that big of a deal. However, I did not count on how reliant I was on that morning gulp of sweet sugary goodness that is a chai tea latte.
Two hours later:
I am literally dying. I’ve been slurping down bottled water like it’s going out of style, but water plus getting up at the asscrack of dawn do not mix. After I’ve yelled at two girls having some sort of reunion directly behind my car as I’m trying to back out (Who does that?
When you can see my taillights, MOVE!), I squeal my tires towards the nearest coffee shop and order my much-desired cup of hot tea like a last request. Later, I do have another bottle of water to make up for my earlier failure.
Day three’s message: ‘Get a Second Opinion’
Shopping at secondhand stores rocks my socks off. Whether it is at Goodwill, Clothesline or Plato’s Closet, a bargain makes my day. So when I walk into the latter and find a potential authentic Louis Vuitton handbag, I nearly do a dance. As a fashion fanatic, I must take a closer look. Stitching looks good, logos are even and symmetrical, label on inside looks authentic, lining well made, bag has serial number . holy crap! This is either a spectacular fake or the real deal! For $15, I’ll take a chance. I snatch it up and race to the register. After making my purchase, I drive toward the East Tennessean to get, you guessed it, a second opinion from one of the employees, also an expert in the field of fabulous brands and well-educated in the ways of fake bags. After a cursory glance, she pronounced the same diagnosis as I did – it was either an amazing fake or, more likely, a genuine Vuitton. Score!
Day four message: ‘Go on a Hay Ride’
This could be a problem. I’m allergic to hay; it makes me itch and I detest the smell. So, I decide to make a seriously lame compromise. I pop in my Beatle’s greatest hits CD, crank up the volume, roll down my windows and loudly sing, are you ready?
Yep, I sang “Hey Jude.” There it is, my ride full of hey’s. Hardeharhar.
Day five message: “Now Accepting Applications”
Well, as much as I love Pal’s food, I really don’t want to work there. Actually, I’ve never worked in food service. I honestly feel sorry for everyone that does, though. I’ve worked retail and I know that customers can be way worse (i.e. rude and impatient) at a fast-food restaurant.
So, instead of applying to a job I don’t covet, I will dedicate this portion of my experiment to thanking all restaurant workers for doing a damn hard job.
As my adventure comes to a close, I will say it was a lot of fun living day to day the Pal’s way.
So, next time you pass by that sign telling you to ‘Think about trees’ or ‘Give someone a hug,’ go for it. You might just learn something about yourself (or at least get a hug out of the deal).

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