Everytime I think I am on the right track life happens and knocks me back down again.
I thought I had it all planned out this time.
I was making great money at the job I had held for over four years and I had a coveted position. I had power and respect.
I had worked long and hard hours to get where I was and I was enjoying the benefits of being top dog.
I always said it would be the job I kept to get me through college before I had to get a real job.
Well … it almost happened.
One crazy night I was in the wrong place at the wrong time with all the wrong people doing the wrong thing and I woke up the next day jobless after four long years.
I was hurt and offended that after such a long haul of blood, sweat and tears I could be “let go” just like that. I had worked for this company so long it was like my family.
Nothing could save my job. I had really screwed things up this time so bad it couldn’t even be smoothed over. This time I got more than the usual smack on the hand.
I have always been a good employee if I do say so myself. I never called in, I was dependable, I tried not to be late, I went the extra mile without being asked, I had many regulars who visited me on every shift and I made the company lots of money.
I did all those things because I cared about my job.
I was fully aware the whole time of how good I had it and how many people wanted my job. I tried to constantly remind myself that I was lucky to have my position.
Of course, it was all my fault I lost my job so I wallowed in my own pity for a few days and reemerged with a new attitude on life.
I kept thinking to myself maybe it was time for a change anyway.
I found another job but it just isn’t the same. Life, again, is teaching me one of those hard lessons to learn by shoving me down off my pedestal and making me humble again.
Everyone knows how it is to be the “new girl” at a job. No one knows you or your everyday demeanor and you are constantly trying to prove yourself.
Those days when the last thing you want to do is talk to people are the worst.
In the past on those days, my normal attitude would be to just give them what they want so they leave me alone, but at this new job I am expected to impress everyone all the time.
Even though I have more than enough experience I am still the low man on the totem pole. I still get tricked into extra work by the lazy people who think it’s funny to tell the new girl that she has to do their job, too.
I still have to act like I am the happiest person in the world until my co-workers get to know me better and I can be my normal cynical, sarcastic self.
It has been hard on me because I am not a person that makes a good first impression.
As a matter of fact, I am almost positive my interview had nothing to do with me being hired. I’m sure it was my experience that got me the job.
People just don’t really know how to take me when they first meet me.
Even though I am a Southern girl with class and manners, I come across rude sometimes when I am only trying to be funny. Plus, I have never been one of those wishy- washy people. I either love you or hate you and there is no in between.
So I have been working with the philosophy I am not here to make friends; I am here to make money.
The surprising part is the people I picked out on the first day I knew I could care less about, have turned out to be the coolest people I work with.
I also think I am being paid back for all those times I was mean to the new people at my old job.
Mom always said “what goes around comes around” and boy has it come full circle.
Don’t get me wrong I understand that in the business I am in, employees come and go like the seasons. I always used to use that as the excuse to be cold and aloof to the new kids, but now that I am on the recieving end of the idea I am not sure I like it very much.
Change is hard and after four years of knowing everything about anything at work it frustrates me that I know nothing about everything at my new job.
I used to be the one people asked when they needed help and now I am reduced to asking for help with the simple things on a daily basis.
Sometimes you just grin and bear the things in life that are unpleasant and this is one of those things.
I would have never chosen to leave my job but now that I have been forced to make changes and adjustments it has taught me about humility and how it will always slap you in the face when you take things for granted.
If I could take back what happened I would, but turning back time is something I haven’t quite mastered, although I try desperately.
You live with the consequences of your actions and who knows, I might end up loving this job way more than my last one.
I will just pay my dues and try to keep thinking to myself that this is only a stumbling block on the way to the finer jobs in life.
I won’t be the new girl forever and that is definitely a good thing.

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