A new school year is starting, along with a new year of life dramas, problems and questions.
Sometimes it’s hard to find who to ask those questions to. Or you feel like you are the only one who doesn’t know and you don’t want to be the one who has to ask.
A wise teacher once said “If you have a question, more than likely someone else has the same one, but they’re just to afraid to ask.”
So be brave – at least a little bit and ask the “answer girl.” You will even remain anonymous, so why be afraid? Hey Answer Girl,
I need advice on how to politely tell someone – we’ll call him “Mike” – that I am not interested in dating him. I work with “Mike,” and when I temporarily left to move in for school, he cried! He’s a nice guy, but he’s not for me. Please help me to not hurt his feelings.
Not Interested

Dear Not Interested,
Hmm. Well, you have a few options. You could give “Mike” a call and give him a glowing report of all the cute boys here at ETSU.
Or you could send a little package to your former (and his current) place of employment that aptly symbolizes your feelings for him – maybe some crumbly black roses or a dead rat.
But because you specified that you don’t want to hurt this guy’s feelings, you probably should go with option three: sever all contact.
However, this avoidance approach should usually be a final resort when dealing with relationship problems.
For instance, it wouldn’t be wise to break up with your boyfriend of two years by moving away and changing your phone number.
But since you apparently don’t have an actual relationship with “Mike,” and he potentially embarrassed himself a great deal with his teary scene, this qualifies as one of the few instances in which non-communication may be the best choice. He’ll hopefully get the message and he won’t have to relive the “goodbye” scene again.
However, if he blindly persists in his fawn-eyed adoration of you (like, say, by leaving endless voicemails, instant messages, e-mails, etc.), you’ll need to break the news to him as gently and honestly as possible without presenting him with an exhaustive list of his flaws.
The message should be, “I think you’re a nice guy, but you’re just not for me.
Again, since you never really had a relationship, the choice of communication medium is up to you, although a pager text-message may not be the most considerate option.
Sadly, there is virtually no way to fend off a romantic advance without hurting someone’s feelings, but for both of your eventual happiness and your sanity, don’t encourage him to persist.

Dear Answer Girl,
When do I need to file my intent to graduate?
Curious Student

Dear Curious,
Well, when are you intending to graduate? If it’s this December, run, don’t walk, to the graduation office – 102B Burgin-Dossett Hall – and grovel. And maybe you should pray, too, that you miraculously have all of your requirements completed. The graduation office requests that all students submit an intent to graduate form at least two semesters before they intend to graduate. So for May 2004 hopefuls, now is the time to stop by and fill one out. Students planning to graduate in August or December 2004 may also do the same. The earlier students submit the form, the sooner they will find out what requirements they need to complete to fulfill their degree program. If you don’t submit the form, you don’t graduate. Speaking of essential forms, here’s another: the major/minor form. Traditionally, major/minor forms are due within the first two weeks of the semester of graduation. So, for December graduates, this sheet is due Sept. 12.

Got questions? Get answers. Send your queries to the Answer Girl at ETSUAnswerGirl@hotmail.com. All question may be edited for length, libel, spelling, etc. Every inquiry may not appear in the East Tennessean.

Author