Dear Answer Girl,
I worry that my roommate could be developing really bad habits that will harm her health. She doesn’t seem concerned, and she doesn’t think there is a problem.
Should I say something? If so, how and what?
-Worried Roommate

Just to make sure we’re all on the same page, let me throw out a few ideas about what really constitutes “bad habits that harm her health.”
If your roommate is having hygiene lapses, like forgetting to brush her teeth, clip her toenails, and/or change her underwear, you really don’t have any reason to fear for her life. Yes, unclipped toenails could potentially interfere with walking, and yes, not brushing your teeth for extended periods could make them rot, which really could turn fatal if neglected for long enough.
But seriously, let’s leave the personal hygiene disagreements alone for a while and discuss what to do if your roommate does have legitimately hazardous habits.
These can include (but are not limited to) eating disorders, self-mutilation, abuse of over-the-counter and prescription drugs, abuse of alcohol or pretty much anything that presents a clear danger to her (and even your) health.
This is not meant to encourage those puritanical types to attack their less-than-angelic roommates for behaving in ways that may not impress parents and preachers, but are typically only mildly risky. For instance, having
a few beers on Thursday night (no, of course not on campus … going out to have drinks) does not constitute a drinking problem. Drinking throughout the day, most days of the week, on the other hand, throws up a big red flag.
So first thing, distinguish between an actual hazardous habit and a lifestyle choice. Once you have determined that your roommate really is harming her health, communication must begin.
Honesty is the best policy, but try to emphasize that you are scared for her and that you care about her health, not that she is being stupid and you’re judging her.
Also, your roommate may get defensive. In fact, when all is said and done, she may hate you forever and never talk to you again. But I think you’d agree that it is worth it to give her the chance to change her destructive behavior.
After you’ve broached the subject, it is also a good idea to encourage your roommate to visit a counselor.
At ETSU, we have a counseling facility in the Culp Center, which would be an excellent place to encourage your roommate to go. If you live in the dorms, your resident advisor is another resource – RAs have training and information to help in situations like this.
If you are seriously worried about your roommate, don’t be afraid to help. You never know -her health could depend on it.
Got questions? Get answers. E-mail all inquiries to ETSUanswergirl@hotmail.com.

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