Dear Answer Girl,
How many kinds of daisies are there?
-Bloomin’ EnthusiastAt least ten. But probably more like 23,000, if you want to get all specific. No, really.
Check my facts: www.daisyparadise.fsnet.co.uk/index.htm

Dear Answer Girl,
What was up with the end of The Matrix-Revolutions? Why did it suck so bad? Where can I write to get my money back?
-Matrix Anti-Fan

You poor, poor soul. You went into part three of a drawn out, huge budget, blockbuster movie series and you were sorely disappointed when you weren’t $5-7 worth of satisfied.
What is $5-7 worth of satisfying, anyway? Let’s see, you could have gone Arena Kart Racing for five whole minutes, but wait … is that place even open?
You could have enjoyed five Arby’s Roast Beef sandwiches (or gotten some similar “super” deal on fast food), but I would think that the resulting gastrointestinal effects would kill that satisfaction pretty quickly.
Oh, I know. You could have done at least one load of laundry on campus in the Maytag Commercial Washers and Dryers. And if you had any money left over, maybe you could have bought a single use detergent pack to put in there, too. (Kidding, kidding. I use my dorm’s laundry all the time – well, at least once a month, anyway – and those prices don’t gouge me too hard.)
But, that’s not really the point, is it? You had a bad time and you want to know why.
As you so eloquently put it, “why did it suck so bad.” Well, your movie, like any potentially bad movie, “sucked” for one or more of the following reasons:
1. You didn’t get it. As in, it was over your head. Judging by the rest of your question, this one may be a pretty good bet …
2. There were three or more kids sitting in your row that kept having to get up, climb over your lap and exit the theater, only to return in four minutes or less to crawl back over.
3. You were in the wrong theater. Yeah, and if you didn’t figure this out until the end, I could really understand your disappointment.
4. The actors spoke with garbled accents and/or the subtitles were blurry. Oh yeah, we’re talking about the Matrix, part seven; none of the problems of foreign and artsy films in that one. Sorry.
5. You forgot Granny’s afghan, and you had to shiver through the entire film – previews, credits and all.
6. You had a refreshment mishap. Did you spill your Jujubes? Were they out of the Super-Value-Sized Barrels o’ Popcorn? Did that kid crawling over you every 10 minutes slosh his icy cola into your unsuspecting lap? It’s a recipe for movie dissatisfaction, I tell ya.
7. You had an epiphany (as you stared at the credits in disbelief) that the entire plot and action of parts two through 10 of the movie sequel series could have been effectively summarized by six relatively short sentences and tacked conveniently onto the end of the brilliant first movie. It’s the classic Return of the Hollywood Money Grubbers. Or Money Grubbers Strike Back. Or Reload. Whatever.
Anyway, the good news about hating your movie experience is that there is a lot you can do about it.
It’s not like you can get your money back or anything, but you can definitely complain to all your friends and use assorted movie paraphernalia as dart targets.
If you want to write to someone, though, write to the theater and tell them to turn down the air conditioning. Dang, it’s cold in there.
Got a question? E-mail it to ETSUAnswerGirl@hotmail.com.

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