Dear Answer Girl,
Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
-Barnum’s BuddyQuite the philosopher, eh? Well, I think the simplest and best answer here is as follows: Yes, if they want to.
Now when I hear the words “animal crackers,” I envision those little crunchy sweet bits that are shaped like various animals, both zoo-like and not.
If you are talking about some sort of literal interpretation of “animal crackers,” which I guess would be more in the range of pork rinds (or any other slice/piece/chunk of an actual animal that is baked/fried into crunchy bits), then no, according to the most basic of vegetarian law. The part that says, “Do not eat meat” would prohibit vegetarians from eating that kind of animal crackers. I know that is pretty complicated, so let me elaborate.
You see, the point of vegetarianism is not to develop the most difficult diet for family and friends to understand and follow, despite all indications of this agenda. Rather, it is to avoid eating meat for health, religious, moral or just-for-the-hell-of-it reasons.
Since animal crackers do look suspiciously like real animals in size, color, smell and taste, it would be easy to be fooled into believing that these snacks are on the Banned Food List for vegetarians. However, as I mentioned above, they are actually okay.
Unless they are made with lard, that is. I guess it is always best to check those ingredients, but to avoid annoying everyone around you, please do it discretely. And then, please do not announce in your loudest voice, “I’m sorry, but I just can’t eat these … they have LARD in them, as well as high fructose corn syrup, hydrogenated soybean and peanut oils, and red lake 25.”
Most people will not be persuaded by your scare tactics, and will instead revert to eating large amounts of meaty foods in self-defense. But hey, maybe you were “just saying.”
Anyhow, no, most brands of animal crackers do not actually contain animals. Many do not contain any animal products at all, including dairy, eggs, gelatin, etc., so they are decently vegan-friendly, too, although vegans may have to draw the line at eating animal shapes. I don’t really know.
But as far as it goes, animal crackers are just another example of people’s somewhat morbid delight in eating food that tastes one way but is shaped like something completely different.
One good example would be the pre-molded and mysteriously boneless “rib sandwich” from fast food chains. We all know that real ribs taste nothing like that Play-Doh creation, and you probably wouldn’t want real ribs, bones and all, on a sandwich anyway.
Or consider candy and snack foods, which are notorious for featuring strange shapes. Fruit Roll-Ups used to come in sheets with precut forms that were as tantalizing as an umbrella, a sock and sunglasses. Hershey’s Kisses look exactly like little volcanoes.
And who hasn’t seen adults get into the fun, too, crafting replicas of animals, numbers and words out of cakes and firm chip dip? Who wants to eat a number, really? But everyone knows that it is not really a number … it’s salmon bean dip.
Likewise, animal crackers aren’t really animals. So, for all those vegetarians waiting anxiously in the cookie aisle for my approval, please feel free to purchase animal crackers to your heart’s delight. Do keep an eye on that Pillsbury stuff, though – I’m pretty convinced that pieces of the Dough Boy are in every package.

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