Valentine’s Day is a time for love. And when it comes to love, powerful love ballads reign supreme.
So sweet, so tender. Oh yes, very tender. Pork loins tender. And far from always being about the greatest love of all, tender love songs often poetically describe the fate of your love’s meaty slab – how it was burned terribly on the griddle while slow cooking.
I don’t know much, but I do know this, love is as severely charred mammal flesh and it loses its tenderness the more it cooks. Love can be tough, but it doesn’t have to be.
There aren’t many things that brilliant pop music can’t mend and it turns out that in the soothing of love’s hurts there are many lessons to be learned from the wise words of Biz Markie, Milli, Vanilli and a young George Michael.
“Just a Friend:” Fallen red blossoms/From plum trees burst into flame/ Among the horse turds. -Buson
Poor Biz Markie. All he wanted was a girl who didn’t have any “friends.” I mean, she had what he needed, but that darned friend was liable to break their love apart. So what if he refers to her as “blah blah blah” but specifies that wore size 9/10 pants and a very big bra.
He wanted his fans to learn a lesson from his most personal romantic defeats. It might very well have been Biz Markie’s focus on his girl’s 9/10 pants and very big bra that caused him to see what was really going on their relationship.
Your significant other’s body might very well be a wonderland, but the physical aspect of your relationship (gasp!) isn’t the most important. Regular and open communication is a must, and bonds of trust should develop between the two of you.
In any relationship, most destinations must be identical. “Where are you headed? Will I be able to go there too?” Meeting his girl that had “long hair and a tight miniskirt” while he was on tour at a concert should have signaled to Biz Markie that they were both at very different places in the world – she in a tight miniskirt, and he slobbering all over a piano night after night, show after show.
“Girl I’m Gonna Miss You:” In pale moonlight/ The wisteria’s scent/ comes from far away. -Buson

It is evident from this infamous Milli Vanilli ballad that the lonely ex-lover is sorely missing the one that completes him. “Oh girl/ I’m gonna miss you baby.”
Tender words are employed by a tender lover who is deeply saddened to have been wrapped ’round her “little bitty finger.”
The loser in love held up an ideal of his partner that failed to turn into reality. She was as a “fairy tale,” and in the powerful words of Vanilli and Milli “so unreal.”
That is why it is so important for lovers to share things with one another. As an important part of their communication, content couples share the big, important issues such as dreams and fears. They often tell each other the stories of their lives, sharing their understanding of how their past influences the present.
Sometimes the more courageous even share their tight black spandex biker short fantasies with each other. It certainly is a tragedy to “see the dream is over” when nothing but vain wishes and lip-synching kept the relationship together.
“Careless Whispers:” O autumn winds, Tell me where I’m bound, to which Particular hell. -Issa
In the makings of a truly healthy romance, it is our actions that mold its success. So when you cheat, honey, things become unnecessarily painful and forever changed.
As the first step is admitting one has a problem, George Michael’s “guilty feet have got no rhythm” and he knows he has been a very bad boy. It is vital to devote time, love and tenderness to the romance in your life. Happy and satisfied couples give their relationship the time and attention it deserves.
The doomed couple most likely hadn’t danced with one another in a long while, so Mr. Michael found another lady friend to carelessly whisper to. Couples who go days or longer without any prolonged affectionate touch are starting from scratch when they decide to be intimate.
Unlike the affectionate couples, they have a lot of work to do in order to make something interesting happen. Try caressing the cheek of your love interest frequently and without warning and Wham! Things become better for the both of you. (Wham! Should be capitalized here, as it is the name of the band).
If you find that the meat of your love isn’t quite tender enough, then it is suggested that you save this article for reference to Biz Markie, Milli, Vanilli and George for those inevitable times when things are not going well in your relationship. “Their talk was of joyful things, they spoke only of bliss.” – Sir Gawain and the Green Knight.

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