I have a question for all of you out there.
Why can’t people in Tennessee drive worth a damn?
Now, don’t flood me with random answers, I actually have a few theories of my own on this one, and before I start, let me make a couple things clear. A) I am not saying everyone in Tennessee can’t drive well. I know a few can, and B) I have no ill-will towards those older, younger or simply different than I.
Once you have a firm grasp on those two statements, you may proceed.
I read the other day in the East Tennessean that a lot of people on campus like to race through crosswalks, and I have to agree with the column’s author, whomever he or she may be.
But I have one little thing to add … it’s not just at crosswalks or on campus.
Some people around here – and yes, I do in fact know people drive worse other places too – seem to be in a big damn hurry to get nowhere.
The other day I just about had the ass-end of my car eaten up by someone who was apparently really interested in getting to the red light before me. I mean, wow, that got you somewhere fast didn’t it, you moron.
I don’t think people grasp that whole speed limit thing.
I’m not saying going 40 mph on the dot is always the way to go – sometimes that’s even more annoying than speeding, but at least make an attempt to stay within a range of decent speed.
There’s no need to drive 70 between red lights because it’s not only dangerous it makes you look tres stupide.
Too many people are killed because they, or someone else, couldn’t keep their foot off the accelerator. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb.
And on the opposite end of the spectrum, don’t drive 25 mph in a 40 zone. It’s just as dangerous as speeding and certainly far more agitating. If you have to go slow as molasses in January, do it in the RIGHT lane. Not right as in correct, right as in the one next to the left lane. You know, the slow lane.
OK, now that that little tutorial is over with, I’d like to make a suggestion to the DMV, or whoever decides what goes in the little driver’s manual.
Teach kids how to drive and test the elderly and people with disabilities regularly.
I’ve heard, and have noticed myself, that too many accidents are caused by people who are just getting their licenses and those who have had them since the beginning of time. I think a big part of that is training.
Who teaches kids how to drive these days? Mom and dad, gym coaches – people who themselves are probably lacking some driving skills?
I learned to drive in Virginia where we were required by law to hire a driving company to take us out and teach us how to handle a vehicle. And, for the most part, it was a good idea.
I learned to drive in every type of weather (I got my license during Hurricane Floyd if anyone remembers that one) and I learned to drive on every kind of road. That included the interstate, something I’ve heard is illusive to new drivers around here.
How can you get a license when you have not driven the interstate? That is just plain stupid. It’s one thing if you live in New York City, but Tennessee? Half the state is the interstate.
So, I vote that that be remedied immediately. I believe that if a person wants to drive a car, they should fork over the 100 bucks or so to learn how to do it properly. That includes learning how to use your blinker (that would be your turn signal for anyone who doesn’t know.)
As for the people who learned to drive before my grandparents were born – you probably need to start thinking really hard about whether or not you need to be driving anymore.
I’m not saying all elderly people are dangerous behind the wheel. I’m sure there are some pretty lively old-folks out there, but there are also some pretty incapable ones.
It seems to me that someone who can barely walk because his or her body is so aged has no business operating a giant-killing machine. Frighteningly, it happens all the time.
A while ago, I saw a car – a whale of a machine I might add – slowly pull into a handicapped spot near my car. I’m talking two miles an hour slow, and as the door creaked open, I saw a man who looked to be pushing 100, practically fall out. He proceeded to stretch across the seat for his cane and when he had it in hand, he struggled to shut the car door and walked into the store.
It took him five minutes to walk a distance a younger person could reach in 30 seconds.
If I hadn’t seen him get out of the car, I wouldn’t have believed he drove at all.
I’m amazed he could manage the steering wheel at all. Forget handling it, or the brake, if there happens to be an emergency.
In Knoxville, I believe it was, an elderly woman caused the death of a woman in her twenties when she didn’t bother to stop, or even pause, at the end of an exit ramp.
There was traffic all over the place and the woman didn’t even tap the brake pedal. She ran full speed into the side of the other woman’s car. It killed the elderly woman as well, but that just makes it more pathetic.
I promised my mother a long time ago that when I felt she was too old to drive, I was taking her keys and that would be the end of it. I don’t think the elderly should be relegated to the bus, but I do think it would be prudent to test their abilities every year or so.
That goes for anyone with a disability that might affect their driving, too. I’m just using the elderly as an example.
My idea, and it’s one that many agree on, is for the DMV to require people over a certain age (or with driving impairing disabilities) to come to the DMV to renew their licenses.
At the DMV, they should have a driving simulator to test the skills and reaction times of those in need of the test. If the person does well, then they should be able to drive away with no problems.
If not, they should have their licenses revoked or in some way marked for future tests, depending on what caused them to fail the simulation.
After a certain age, people should be required to take the simulation every year, unless they show no signs of being a danger on the road.
I’m not knocking the elderly and disabled, I just don’t want to die because of someone who shouldn’t be allowed to drive was.
I have a great respect for the elderly. I myself plan to be old one day, but when that time comes, I’ll gladly hand over my car keys, or whatever they have in terms of transportation by then.
In closing, I hope this article didn’t offend anyone too badly or cause someone to want to run me off the road.
But as much as it may suck to read this, it’s the truth.
People need to learn how to drive.

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