Could someone tell me what happened to the concept that commercials should be funny? Or that they should be informative, or I don’t know, true?
I’m not sure if the folks who come up with commercial pitches are few and far between or maybe the job’s just really hard, but it’s become a ritual of mine to shout at the television during the lulls between TV shows. Yes, I am aware that the television can’t hear me, but that’s really not the point.
The point my friends, is that what used to be an entertaining way to spend a couple minutes between show segments assuming you don’t have to pee or go to the fridge, has now become the reason my remote’s mute button is wearing out. The days of learning something about a new product and being brainwashed into buy junk are going the way of the buffalo, and well, that just makes me sad.
Okay, not so much sad, but a little bummed out none the less.
I like dramatic television — I have a most ridiculous obsession with Law and Order if you must know the truth – and sometimes it would be nice to catch a few 30 second blips of comedy between the rapes and murders. Now all I seem to see are advertisements for undisclosed medications and carbonated high fructose corn syrup in fancy new flavors.
What happened to tempting the consumer? All commercials seem to do this day and age is drive people far, far away. At least, that’s all they do for me.
Example – Pepsi Edge.
Okay, the soda is great for those out there who want their soda with lower carbs, but how about making sense in your commercials, Pepsi?
My first thought when I saw their piece de resistance, the Coke fan cum Pepsi lover commercial, all I could think was “Did God drop that Pepsi can into his hand open and ready for drinking?” What die-hard Coke fan, as the guy so obviously is supposed to be, is going to go out and buy a Pepsi? Let alone fall so in love with the nasty concoction after one sip that he throws out most everything he owns. Oh, yeah, that’s hilarious – except I prefer my pseudo-comedy with a little slice of logic, thank you very much.
My other peeve with this commercial is that it makes Edge sound like the most incredible and unique product on the market. Maybe someone should inform the Pepsi ad writers that Coke came out with their C2 a while ago. The commercial touts that Edge has lower carbs and sugars (or something) than Coke, but fails to mention that Coke has their own low-carb soda.
And before anyone accuses me of smearing Pepsi, I would say the same thing if it was Coke’s commercial.
Heck, I think the C2 commercials are lame too. I can’t for my life figure out the “can’t always get what you want” commercial. So you can’t choose your parents before you drink C2, but you can after? Or how about suddenly having the ability to hate your dog for eating your shoes after you chug some low calorie soda? I understand the point is supposed to be that you can finally have the great taste of Coke without a million grams of something attacking your body from the inside, but the commercial still makes no sense. And, the fact that they use a Rolling Stones song to hock soda is just wrong.
Another thing in recent commercials that I don’t understand, is how companies spend 30 seconds and thousands of dollars promoting a product they never explain. There are numerous medical products on the market now that do this so I’m sure I don’t need to mention any by name for you to understand what I’m talking about.
I watch a commercial and I’m not sure if I’m being told by advertisers to ask my doctor about a new cure for cancer or a way to stop genital warts. There are drug commercials out there for products to lower cholesterol that could probably be interchanged with commercials for feminine itch cream without anyone being the wiser.
I think the only drug commercials that do say what they’re for are for erectile dysfunction, and honestly I don’t need, or want, to watch a middle-aged woman (or anyone for that matter) talk about how her “man” takes some miracle pill and their sex life is suddenly like it was when they were teenagers.
Um, too much information Mrs. Robinson, go back to your husband and leave the poor viewing audience alone.
The one commercial I do find hilarious on this topic – but only because it, unlike its counterparts, never flat out says what the product is for – is so full of innuendos it can’t help but crack you up. It’s the Bob and his big swell of confidence commercials – oh you know what I’m talking about, I don’t have to spell it out for you.
Those amuse me. Not because I need the product, I kind of lack the necessary body part to even consider it, but because the commercials are funny. They don’t say “Bob has a small penis, he took our product and now his wife is happy.”
They don’t need to blatantly say this, and for that I am grateful.
Now, despite my complaining about how commercials have gone down the toilet, there are a few (besides dear old Bob) that make me smile. Not many, but a few.
I love the Sprint commercials with the little kids getting charged for random stuff like “soccer minutes” or the little girl getting the fancy art kit because “she’s new.” It’s so true, so true, and that’s what makes them endearing.
I adore Cadbury commercials around Easter, but really just because the bunny is so darn cute.
Cuteness is also the reason I enjoy cat litter commercials despite the fact that cat litter doesn’t entice me as a product. I find watching bouncy kitties to be a supremely entertaining way to spend a minute.
I don’t generally condone the use of animals as entertainment, but I think feeding a cat Fancy Feast on camera might be an exception. Pretty much any commercial with an animal (except Geiko, those annoy me) can draw me in. Okay, not the Quizno’s mutant gerbil thingies, but just about any others.
Hmm … I’m trying really hard right now to think of other commercials I like and I’m drawing a blank.
Granted I haven’t been watching television much lately so maybe that’s why, but I’m guessing it’s the lack of quantity of good commercials rather than my lack of vegetative states.
So to all of you out there who are going into advertising, please, I beg you, stop the madness.
I don’t care if it means putting Travelocity’s roaming gnome in every commercial, just do something to brighten the minutes between shows for those who don’t always spend their commercial breaks in the potty.

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