I have definitive proof that God exists and he hates me.
I realize that most of the major organized religions would disagree with me. Most would claim that God does not hate people. Most claim that God loves all his creations. Some even claim that God is love.
Then there are those of the more skeptical persuasion that would claim there is no god, much less one that would focus its attentions, for good or ill, on lowly Robert Prowse. They would claim that the things that have happened to me recently are merely coincidence – random events colliding at a certain point in my life with no more design or guidance that a bolt of lightning.
Of course, both groups, being out of alignment with my perception, are wrong. God is there, and he hates me. I don’t know what I’ve done to incite his wrath, but incite it I have.
This past weekend was so unfortunate for me that there is no other explanation except overwhelming immaculate timing.
God’s smiting actually began last week when I gave my car to the mechanic to fix and he told me that I would be without transportation for at least a week. Now, I live close enough to campus to be able to bike to and from school, but my bike has been in the shop for over six weeks. Convenient, I know.
Directly after receiving the news that transportation would be incredibly inconvenient for the next week at least, I got the worst cold of my life. I thought, “No big deal, I’ll get some medicine,” and did just that. After taking the recommended dose of Nyquil, I proceeded to sleep for nearly 30 hours and miss two of my classes.
When I awoke from hibernation, I was still sick and now behind on my schoolwork. Even deathly ill, I tried to do my homework, which I needed my computer for. Upon attempting, I found that while I was sleeping, the power to my apartment had failed.
I had to wait for my landlord to come repair said power and could not accomplish my homework. Mechanical failure of every kind and unconsciousness inducing sickness were the tunes that my weekend sang. Proof of a malicious and snickering God?
Enough for me.

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