Having made the annual absurdities connected with Easter an obligatory rite for editorial commenting through the years, the example that pertains to this year’s celebration is not only disturbing and absurd, but beyond belief.
Two weeks ago in the classified section of a regional newspaper (which will remain unnamed for obvious reasons) the following appeared:
“Get paid to wave. No experience necessary. Wanted: Two Christian men and two Christian women. Must believe in Easter. Benefits. Call ###-###-####.”
The catch phrases of the ad appeared tame enough, but the “Wanted” part didn’t fit into the equation.
Why does one need to be a Christian and believe in Easter just to stand somewhere and get paid to wave? And with benefits, too.
Finding this ad somewhat puzzling, plus being an inquisitive journalist, a call was made to the number listed.
The ad was placed by a church (which again will remain unnamed for obvious reasons), and the work is simple.
On Easter the duties will involve standing on the street corner and waving to people as they drive by.
Each individual will be holding the following pre-printed sign: “He is Risen.”
Stop. Join us in our Resurrection celebration. Worship. Hunt Easter eggs.
The catch though is this: The two women will be dressed in a manner that represents the “women at the tomb,” while one man will be dressed as an angel, representing the “He is not here, for He has risen” concept.
The other man will be dressed in a rabbit costume hoping to capture the attention of children.
The other man will be dressed in rabbit costume? And what is that supposed to represent?
Presumably the completed secular and commercial transfiguration of Easter, much like that of the dreadful fat man in a red suit with his successful conversion of Christmas.
The benefits though are questionable. They’re reserved for the afterlife.
Begging out of a reporting assignment this past weekend, I attended the unnamed church’s Palm Sunday service. Call it curiosity though, not edification.
The service began with the most unusual and foolish attempt at a portrayal of the entrance into Jerusalem ever witnessed by this journalist.
Complete with the musical accompaniment of a pipe organ, an electric organ, praise band and PowerPoint presentation, the triumphant march down the aisles of the unnamed church went something like this: The pastor entered the sanctuary first, followed by what could only be described as old men and women in white robes, presumably the elders and deacons of the church.
The white robed individuals were followed by an adult choir dressed in festive orange robes, while the children, dressed in costumes of an unknown origin, danced behind, holding Easter baskets and waving palm branches.
Wouldn’t Jesus have been impressed?
But were not done with the celebration yet since everyone in the congregation, as well as those processing, were singing some “new hymn of praise.”
Now while the words on the PowerPoint were not at all familiar, the melody was.
These Christians were singing, “Going to Calvary,” to Paul Simon’s music, “Going to Graceland.”
“He’s going to Calvary; I’m going to Calvary; We’re going to Calvary; Calvary; Calvary; Yes we’re going to Calvary. We’ll all be received at Calvary.”
Even Elmer Gantry would have been impressed.
Believing that it couldn’t get any more bizarre proved to be incorrect.
The sermon naturally touched on the Gospel of Judas phenomenon which was the topic of conversation for many Christians last week.
The congregation was warned by their pastor to disregard it completely and that it must be labeled as a “true form of heresy.”
Heresy and heretics. The reformer Martin Luther was labeled a heretic, but yet had it not been for Luther’s translation of the Bible, the church would have maintained sole possession of all biblical texts and the rest of the world would still be paying penance.
Heretic? Not hardly.
And what’s so wrong about looking at the Gospel of Judas with an open mind?
The only reason Christians today believe the Bible to be the inherent word of God is because that’s what they’ve been taught for centuries.
What if those written accounts had never taken place? What if it’s all heresy? What then?
One final thought about this unnamed church though is warranted.
Their denomination preaches that same-sex marriage is forbidden according to their God’s law, yet with the stroke of a simple classified ad they have somehow managed to marry a rabbit to the church. That’s called hypocrisy.

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