Three weeks ago today, I was on a plane on my way to a newspaper convention, halfway through my latest article on how much I love flying, only to arrive home a few days later and hear about how it is no longer safe to board the plane with even my lip gloss. Immediately I thought: “I am really going to have to rewrite that article.”
I love flying, always have and probably always will. Many times, I enjoy the act of flying more than I do the destination. I am just thankful that I got back before all this stuff happened. I probably would have been locked away for life, considering the potentially deadly items I keep stashed away in my purse.
First is my growing addiction to lip gloss. All joking aside, it is addictive; you can read all about it at http://www.kevdo.com/lipbalm/. It all started with a single innocent ChapStick many years ago, and now, I find myself uncontrollably applying and re-applying, keeping at least five different tubes with me at all times. Can you imagine me trying to go through airport security now? Could you imagine if I had stayed just a few more days and been caught by airport security unprepared – totally unaware of the happenings with fluid bombs – the tears I would have shed as they carelessly tossed away each delectable tube? And then, if it is even possible, imagine if you will, (for this thought is already becoming too painful for me), the two hour plane ride back . WITHOUT LIP GLOSS! AHHHH!
Then, as if that were not enough, there is the sweet tea issue. Yes, living in Tennessee all my life has begun to catch up with me. I have learned to prepare myself for the ultimate lack of sweet tea whenever I travel any farther north than Kentucky. I will never understand why there seems to be this invisible line that runs across the United States where sweet tea is no longer existent, and people find it acceptable to offer me “iced tea” instead. I know that this so-called “iced tea” is not really sweet tea. Do not try to fool me! So naturally, I pack bottled sweet tea when I travel. I carry bottles in my purse, in my luggage, etc. Obviously, this is not quite as potentially problematic as the lip gloss . I could probably make it an entire plane ride without the sweet tea, as long as I am always allowed to just check the tea with my luggage that is, but I somehow doubt that my flight would be nearly as enjoyable.
Don’t get me wrong. There are still things to enjoy during a plane ride, such as watching the passing clouds and taking in the excitement of being 30,000 feet up in the air with familiar sounds of passengers prepping their barf bags echoing throughout the plane. I just look forward to the day when I may once again have my simple pleasures on the plane, and perhaps until then, I can look into getting a doctor’s excuse.

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